Saturday, March 08, 2008

FIUUGH!

I had a google chat with my ex-bf today for the first time in, like, forever... coz' for some reason or another I have never seen him online on Gmail until recently... So today while I was blurring out at work, I took more time than I knew I should have on one of the most fascinatingly amusing yet totally useless online chat conversations I've ever had. To fully enjoy this you should know that Stuart is Australian, an atheist who dislikes anything to do with religion and he took lessons in Bahasa Indonesian, but my Malay speaking skills still wipes his anytime. I also like changing my Gmail status practically every ten seconds in a day or so. That's all you need to know, so here we go!


5:19 PM Stuart: interesting signatures on your gmail! what are you playing at :o
5:20 PM me: oh, it's just a fun thing to do.. changing my gmail status every now and then
Stuart: double clicking the mouse?
me: and making ppl wonder what I'm talking about
no, just click the status under your name and type whatever u want
5:21 PM u can try too
Stuart: (my Gmail status at this time was "Ooh...OOH... I feel an answered prayer coming on! *yesssss*") sigh... so whats the answered prayer you can feel coming on?
5:22 PM me: oh, it's just that I'm going for a church camp this week and it going until Monday, so I took leave but my manager said I needed to come back to work for something, so I prayed that something would happen so that I don't need to come back, and now it seems it's happened so I probably can take my leave after all :)
5:23 PM (I changed my Gmail status to "Hi Stuart!") I changed my status again. hehe
Stuart: I saw
so how's work
5:25 PM me: doing ok
they shoved me into testing team now
Stuart: starting to enjoy it yet?
me: means no techie skills required
and I don't feel like a dumb@$$
but still boring
Stuart: that's a great feeling!
me: yeah,nothing quite like not feeling like a dumb@$$ me: looking for a job in environmental management
5:26 PM Stuart: does that mean cutting down trees?
me: I mean environmental consulting
Stuart: does that mean telling other people to cut down trees?
me: no, it means advising companies on how to better manage their businesses so that it is less damaging to the environment
yeesh
5:27 PM Stuart: haha
me: any dummy can cut down a tree
Stuart: so things like putting the sewer outfall a bit further out to sea?
5:28 PM me: -_-'
I hope the clients I meet won't be like you
Stuart: hahahaha
take a chainsaw brochure
5:29 PM me: u working late or just staying at office to bug me? :P
Stuart: at home. wanna go back to the office later though... exciting friday night for me!
me: wait.... you WANT to go back to office on a FRIDAY night??
5:30 PM Stuart: yeah... not enough done this week again... got some work to do but feeling like a dumbass
me: it's dumb@$$
Stuart: ok... dumbASS then
5:31 PM me: no no, dumb@$$
Stuart: hahahahhahahah
me: that's the family friendly version
yeesh
Stuart: hahahahaahahaha
dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass dumbass...
5:32 PM me: oh fine if you wanna be a dumb@$$
:P
Stuart: no money in being a dumbass... but maybe there is in being your kind?
haha
5:33 PM ok..
just tell em to put concrete and paint it green
me: whaddaya mean by my kind, hmmm? -_o?
5:34 PM Stuart: and plug the sewer outfall so all the crap goes on the streets where it belongs
your kind = @$$
get it now?
me: your kind = ass
I'll take @$$ over ass anytime
5:35 PM Stuart: nothing quite some ass is there
know any good fart jokes?
5:36 PM me: fortunately, NO
Stuart: know any good @$$ jokes?
me: same answer :P
5:37 PM I'm sure you'd have more expertise in that area
Stuart: I'm just a tryer
me: yeah right
5:38 PM Stuart: hehe
me: still as mean as ever I see
Stuart: terimakasih
kamu baik sekali
5:39 PM me: kamu sangat jahat
banyak jahat punya orang
Stuart: what's jahat?
me: sungguh sungguh jahat
go ask your Indonesian teacher :p
bwahahaha
5:40 PM Stuart: snuggle snugge jamies?
me: or look for a malay-english translator
Stuart: oke
akan
me: you have 2 minutes starting now
you can also look for 'celaka'
5:41 PM Stuart: think I'll play dumbass instead :D
me: and 'nakal'
kamu celaka punya orang
5:42 PM Stuart: something about having people... sounds sexy!! anything to do with ass?
me: what??? What screwed up translator are u using??
Stuart: kamu = you
punya = have
orang = person
5:43 PM you have person with celaka? is it a disease?
me: you have no idea how hard I am trying not to laugh my head off right now
5:44 PM Stuart: har har har..
5:45 PM me: celaka means something like obnoxious
but not that... I can't think of the right word
it's like saying, you're too much!
Stuart: I'm not too far wrong then... ass's are obnoxious... so are diseases
5:46 PM me: have u found 'jahat' and 'nakal' then?
Stuart: actually ass's are only obnixious when they're doing their job
already know nakal... no idea about jahat... sounds like a town
jahat baru...
5:48 PM me: it's JOHOR baru
* slaps forehead *
jahat means BAD
5:49 PM Stuart: so new but bad.. ok
me: adui
Stuart: huh?
5:50 PM me: malaysian expression of exasperation
Stuart: how about fiuugh?
me: huh?
Stuart: faaaaarrrrrk
5:51 PM me: that sounds wrong
Stuart: (aus expression of exasperation)
me: that's also a family friendly version of a bad word
Stuart: didn't know that!!!
me: doesn't it sound like a particular word to you?
5:52 PM no idea what is fiuugh though
there are many commonly used malaysian expression of exasperation
for example
ALAMAK
Stuart: I thought you were saying fiuugh was the fam friend version..
5:53 PM me: oh no, I was talking about faaaark
Stuart: no... that's just a sound that crow's make
me: no, crows go CAW CAW
Stuart: fiuugh is a female expect everything type exasperation
5:54 PM crow's go faark faark faark...
me: so the males say fiuugh or the females say fiuugh?
Stuart: fems
me: oh ok
I should try that sometime
Stuart: what? expecting everything? I agree.
5:55 PM me: no, saying fiuugh
Stuart: hehe
me: fiuugh!
Stuart: heheheheh
what did you expect?
me: for u to know what I was talking about :P
5:56 PM Stuart: and you thought I didn't know :)
hehehehehe
better than dumbass
5:57 PM me: anyway, other commonly used malaysian expressions of exasperation:
TIU!
But that's only used by Chinese
and it means something very bad
5:58 PM Stuart: how about AUS?
me: so refrain from using it
Stuart: sounds like a bird anyway
me: how would I know? You're the Aussie, not me!
Fiuugh!
Stuart: hehehe
shouldn't have taught you that!
me: yes, it's quite fun
5:59 PM I'll use that on all my friends and let them wonder what's wrong with me
Stuart: got a firework show on now!
me: outside your house?
6:00 PM Stuart: yup
me: what's the occasion?
Stuart: guessing it's someone's birthday at one of the expensive riverside restaurants
6:01 PM me: oh, I thought it's coz' it's friday and everyone can go get drunk silly and have major hangovers tomorrow without worrying about work
Stuart: over now
me: that was fast
Stuart: drunkenness is every friday... more important than fireworks
6:02 PM me: no, the fireworks are to celebrate the freedom to get drunk
doesn't matter that u guys do it very week
Stuart: freedom isnt the word... it's a human right!
6:03 PM me: yes, but work the next day restricts how drunk you can get
so friday means you have more freedom than other days
with the exception of saturday, of course
6:04 PM Stuart: extra freedoms on Saturdays! coz nuthing to do the next day :) :)
fiugh
me: unless you go to church
you can't say that, you're not female
Stuart: I was just getting in before you did
6:05 PM and noo-one goes to church any more so that doesn't count
me: oh, I'm sure there are some strange species of Australians who still do
6:06 PM You said that's a female expression, so u can't use it!
Stuart: vewy strainge
how about faark?
6:07 PM i've heard a few fems using that one too... better than guys actually
6:08 PM me: but you didn't say it was restricted to any particular gender
so faaaark is open for anyone to use
nyeh nyeh
6:09 PM Stuart: he he he
what I say goes hehehe
6:10 PM me: yeah
Stuart: actually if girls use faark it's never the fam version!!
me: but then you can't overrule it once you've said it
Stuart: the moon is pink
6:11 PM me: unfortunately if you say something that contradicts a known fact, you're just a dumb@SS
6:12 PM Stuart: but to propogate a fallacy, known or unknown, is a sign of intelligence then?
6:13 PM me: nope
6:14 PM Stuart: therefore the moon is pink.
I win
me: it's just that since you created the rule first, and if no one else particularly cares if it's right or wrong, then you are right by default
but the fact is the moon is yellow, not pink
so you are a dumb@$$
Stuart: and the earth is flat
6:15 PM me: dumb@$$
Stuart: and the tooth fairy leaves easter eggs next to my bed every christmas
fiuugh
6:16 PM me: how does fiuugh apply to this context?
6:17 PM Stuart: it doesn't
i just like stepping on your turf
me: adui
Stuart: fiuurk
6:18 PM me: celaka punya orang
Stuart: there's that socially undesirable disease again : (
6:19 PM me: it' not a disease, you dumb@$$ :P
6:20 PM Stuart: well I've been calling it the wrong name for a long time then!
6:21 PM i've gotta cook some celaka soon
me: that's just proves my point even more
6:22 PM Stuart: kamu belum makan?
me: belum
sekarang pukul 6.30 saja
awal lagi
Stuart: saja?
6:23 PM awal?
me: only
early Stuart: pukul?
me: pukul 6 = 6 o' clock
ok, I gotta go soon
Stuart: confusing
me: it's just the way they say the time
6:24 PM Stuart: what's hour again?
me: jam
Stuart: so why not jam 6
me: cannot
Stuart: strainge
me:you don't say now it's 6 hour
6:25 PM Stuart: six o'clock
means six of the clock
similar
me: yeah, so six o'clock in malay is pukul enam
Stuart: but of the clock is jam
you said pukul is early
me: no, jam is hour
6:26 PM 6 hours = 6 jam
no, I said pukul is equivalent to o' clock
Stuart: fiuugh
me: anyway, enough BM lessons for today
I gotta go!
Stuart: ok
thanks
nice to catch up again
6:27 PM me: yes it was
fascinating conversation
have fun at the office again
instead of going out and getting drunk silly
Stuart: I'll look around for some good fart jokes before the next one
me: * sad *
fiuugh
Stuart: hehe
me: wait, doesn't suit the context
yeesh
Stuart: faark
6:28 PM hehe
tiu
me: that doesn't suit the context either!
oi
behave yourself
Stuart: eh
har har
catch you next time
thanks again
me: buh bye
FIUUGH!!!!
6:29 PM Stuart: nice place to end!

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