Tuesday, March 29, 2005

The Parent Trap

I had an interesting conversation with an older friend of mine the other day... we were talking about how we deal with our parents. He said that a lot of people tend to remember the faults and mistakes of their parents and not remember their successes. And I have to say that I agree with him, coz' I'm pretty much doing that myself. :P But while to my friend, success meant building a life and carreer for yourself while raising kids at the same time... to me success in building a carreer and success in raising kids are two different things. I mean, a person could be a super rich tycoon who build an industrial empire out of scratch or something...but his/her kids could grow up to be selfish irresponsible brats. That person would be a pretty successful business person, but not much of a successful parent. On the other hand, a person could have absolutely nothing in life, but raise his or her kids to be loving and caring people with strong good values. Who's more of a success in life...the good business guy or the good parent? I think no matter what most people would like to think, the world in general would hold a rich tycoon in much higher regard than a nameless nobody who raised good kids. But I try to think of success a different way...I think a person's success is based on how much that person will be missed when that person is dead and gone. Coz' that shows how much people cared about you, and shows how much you cared for others. When I die, I want to remembered not for how much money I had or how big my house and car was. I wouldn't want to be remembered for some big scientific contribution I might've made to make people's lives better (well, I wouldn't mind being remembered for that, but it's not as important as what I'm about to mention). I would want to be remembered for being someone who truly and honestly cared for others, was always willing to help people...in short, just be someone people can turn to. That's the kind of person people will really miss when he/she's gone. That's the kind of mark I want to make in the world. But of course, it's always easier said than done, and I still have a super long way to go before I become as big-hearted as I hope to be. As it is, I'm still more of a selfish brat that only thinks of herself. :P
Anyway, back to the topic on parents. The truth is, my parents have been sort driving me up the wall again, and I was tempted to give a long, hard gripe about them in my blog. But then, I'd made a promise to myself that I would stop publicly whining about my parents like an immature 10 year old, and instead try to handle my issues with them in a more civilized manner. Like all kids, I wish they would do some things differently, but I have to say that they are overall good parents and they did a pretty good job of raising their kids. Look how I came out! Hehe.... :P Ok, maybe not...
One of the things my older friend mentioned during our little discussion was that when we grow up, we always try to avoid making the same mistakes as our parents make, but end up making other mistakes that we don't realise. And I agree with him, as unfortunate as the fact may be. I'm always telling myself not to make the same mistakes my parents made once I have my own kids...but I'm sure I'm still going to have the same old problem with my kids driving me up the wall sometimes and vice versa. But that's life after all... it's human nature to want more when we already have it good, and I've know plenty of kids with wonderful parents who just want more and more from them. :P I've been thinking a lot about the kind of parent I would want to be, and even thinking of listing down some of the things I hope to do as a parent.. things which I think a lot of parents should do but make the mistake of NOT doing... Of course, I've never jad a a kid, so I'm sure there're plenty of things I still need to learn...but this would be the stuff I already know from experience with my own folks and other people as well. Maybe in the future I could maybe look back on it and see if I've lived up to what I hoped to be. Haha, now's a good time as any for that list!

Things I oughta do when I have kids. Aaaahhh!!!
1. Encourage my children to work on their talents and dreams
2. Give them more praise when it's due, instead of put-downs
3. Try and get to know their friends (until they get to that age when they just want me to mind me own beeswax...then I'll give them their space :D)
4. Teach them that there's more to life than study, work and make money
5. Set limits for them eg. a curfew, an allowance, etc so they know their boundaries clearly
6. Explain to them why they need to have those boundaries
7. Discuss a compromise if they don't agree with me and let them voice their opinions instead of pulling rank all the time and accusing them of rebelling
8. Don't make assumptions that I know why my kids feel certain ways or do certain things until I have a real talk with them
9. Treat them with respect from a young age, coz' kids are smart little buggers, they are
10. Always make sure they know I love them and nothing else is more important to me than them
11. Apologize when I know I've made a mistake
12. Don't complain about my hubby to my kids, and refrain from having big, high-pitched arguments in front of them
13. And of course, try to instill all the good shit in them like honesty, kindness, generosity and love for others.

There's plenty more I could add, and plenty more I could learn that I need to add, of course. And of course, it's going to be a whole lot harder to live up to this list once I actually get to that parenthood stage (if I ever do, coz' at the rate I'm going, just finding that special someone is a problem in itself. But that's another issue. :P). But it's good to have an idea of what you hope to be, I guess. :)

Friday, March 25, 2005

Warning, this is a greeting card and advertisement in one...

Happy Good Friday everyone! Let us rejoice in the day Jesus Christ was beaten, whipped to his bones and suffered one of the most torturous modes of execution ever known to mankind. Ok, maybe not.....But let us rejoice in knowing that 3 days later, He miraculously got back to life and showed that badass devil who's boss!!! Woohoooo!!!
Ok, it's a long and complicated story for those who don't know it. But anyway, to celebrate Easter (which is this Sunday for those who REALLY don't know), my little church is having a combined celebration with other church at KDU college in Kelana Jaya ( I think)... and we're putting on a play...which I will be acting in! Double woohoo!!!!!! Yes, yes, I know I can't act to save my life, but don't worry, I only show my face for like a grand total of 30 seconds in one scene...and in another I just speak through the microphone and I'm nowhere on stage. So anyway, anybody who is willing to endure my bad acting for those 30 seconds, and enjoy the rest of my church's play (which is quite musical too!) is welcome to join us at KDU this Sunday the 27th of March at 10am. Cheers! :P

Gimme hugz!!!!

Refer to the sidebar on the right :)))

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Honesty goes a long way?

I got into a little car accident last Friday...was coming out of a t-junction from usj 2 into the main road in front of Summit when a guy hit me from behind. Wasn't a serious thing... just my left rear light was broken, some of the paint came off and the bumper got bumped out of alignment. I was going pretty slowly trying to get out onto the main road, so it was pretty obvious the other guy's fault. I could've been unfortunate and the guy who bumped me happened to be some hooligan who refused to admit his fault and try to avoid paying. But the Indian guy who bumped was fortunately an honest guy who straight away apologized and gave me his business card to contact me for payment. It turns out he actually had a 'good' reason for bumping me, coz' he had just caused another accident by hitting a motorcyclist at the main traffic light nearby heading to the Kesas highway, and for some reason he couldn't stop there but had to go back into usj 2 and then return back to the scene to help out the poor motorcyclist. And in his rush to get back, he bumped into my car. Later I saw the motorcyclist for myself, lying on the road looking pretty injured. A traffic policeman who was directing traffic at the time (this was rush hour morning traffic, mind you) also said he saw the accident himself. So the poor bumpee had to rush the poor motorcyclist to the hospital, and in the midst of digesting this interesting turn of events, I completely forgot the essential what-to-do's in the event of a car accident, like taking down the license number of the bumpee, getting his contact number, and even getting his I.C. number, according to my dad. His business card didn't even have his handphone number, just his company number. So the guy could very easily have screwed me up and try to avoid payment of my car's damage....especially in light of his other more serious accident, which I sure would have even greater financial consequences than my little bump. He seemed like an honest guy to me though, and I guess I naively believed him when he said he would pay up, but my parents were very skeptical. My mum even thought he could've given someone else's business card instead of his own. Such things have happened before, where some dishonest jerks use one tactic or another to avoid paying for their mistakes.
I did feel kinda sorry and emphatatic for the guy though...after all he'd just caused a more serious accident, and if I were in his situation I might have lost my cool and bumped someone else too. If I were a rich kid, I probably would've let it slide and pay for the repairs myself. But I'm not, and as sympathatic as I was for the poor guy for having TWO accidents in one day, he still has to pay up. So I prayed that he was an honest guy who would've try to FFK (fong fei kei = 'disappear', or literally, 'fly a plane' in Cantonese) on me...which is kind of a selfish prayer. But I also prayed that the payments he would have to make for both the accidents wouldn't take too big a toll on him financially, and that the guy he hit would heal quickly as well, and that he wouldn't get into too much trouble for it. I also prayed that if he WAS an honest guy and really was responsible enough to pay up, that he would be even more blessed in the future. And if not, well, God can handle that lah. Hehe.
Fortunately for me, God has answered my first prayer and today we met up with the guy, who's name is Batmanathan, by the way (my dad has already nicknamed him Batman. :P), and he took us to his usual workshop to get a assessment on the damages for my car. We couldn't get my car fixed today though, coz' Batman didn't have enough money. A very suspicious excuse under normal circumstances, but for his situation I could understand coz' he had to pay for his own car damage, the motorcycle damage, AND the hospital bills for the motorcyclist which comes up to over RM2000 on its own. So it was no surprise to me when he said he was going to replace my car light with an unoriginal one instead of the better original light, which is double the price. My dad wasn't too happy about that and was insisting on the original, and that really stressed out Batman. But later on, I convinced my dad to give the guy some slack and let him get the unoriginal, since he's honest enough to pay for the damages in the first place...plus he has to pay for a heap of other things. If the guy hadn't been in that kind of panic when he hit me, and he was just being an idiot driver, I would've insisted he buy the original too. But under the circumstances, I think it's really good that he's even being so responsible, when a lot of people would've tried anything to avoid paying a couple of hundred. The car should be fixed up next week, and hopefully by then, Batman guy doesn't decide to ignore his ethics and FFK us then...which my mum and dad kinda suspects he might. I guess I am a bit too trusting of people, but I'd like to believe there is some good in this world and not everyone has forgotten their values. And this guy seems to be one of those people, so I encouraged and thanked him through sms today for being honest with us. And once the car is fixed, I'm thinking I might even write a letter commending his honesty to his boss, so that hopefully he will get rewarded or blessed with a higher position or whatever in his company. Hey, such rare honesty should be rewarded, right? People need to know that honesty, instead of DIShonesty, pays off. Heh. :)

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

The big double TWO

Happy Birthday to me.... La dee da, hee hee hee....(sang along to Happy Birthday). Yes, as of half an hour ago, I am officially 22 years years old. Not planning any big she-bangs this year, since I already had the big 21st last year....just had a nice little dinner with some close buddies on the weekend, and my lovely cell members sort of surprised me with the whole Happy Birthday song and birthday present thing for me last Friday. By 'sort of', I mean I was kind of ecxpecting them to do something before that, but at the time when they 'surprised' me, I completely forgot about expecting it, so I was kind of surprised. Haha, whatever works!
Well, yet another year has fluttered by before my eyes...time really flies even when I'm NOT having so much fun. The assignments and studies take up so much time, I always find that I hardly have enough time for anything else and before I know it, another year is gone. Before I know it, soon I'll be graduating and being tossed out into the big, bad working world. Aaaiiieee!!! Not a bad thing when I think about the money and being independant and finally being able to get my own place once I earn enough moolah... but then there's also the crappy stuff like bills to pay, and a house and car to pay off, and trying to be successful in my job even though I probably won't have a clue what I'm doing as always. Kakakakaaa....but ah well, that's life. Gotta take the good with the bad. Of course, if I somehow manage to do what my mum always tells me to do (find a rich husband), that makes the whole paying off the bills, car, house, etc, so much easier.
Well, I would blabber on more, but I'm suffering from lack of sleep so off I go to continue wasting one third of my life sleeping like a pig. ZzzzZZZzzzzzz......

Friday, March 11, 2005

Busy busy busy!!!

Just as I had suspected, as soon as I get back to uni, I start neglecting my poor little bloggy woggy. It's Friday on the second week of uni, and I've kind of gotten into the studying gear. I actually studied some of my lectures notes already, which is highly unusual considering I allow myself to be blur throughout the entire semester until 2 weeks before the exam when I start cramming an overload of info into my brains. I guess I finally realised that that's not too good for my precious grey matter....especially when I'm doing a nutty subject called Genomics and Molecular Genetics and the way my lecturer explains things, he might as well be a Martian coz' I don't understand a thing he's saying....Thank God my other subjects are relatively easy peasy and I could study them with one eye closed (though that probably won't be too good for my eyes eitherrrrr....). But even so, I know from 3 years of experience in Monash that once my semester starts, my free time ends and soon I'll be swamped with assignments and lab reports and essays and other whatnots the lecturers will throw at us to do. And if that's not enough, I have cell group every fortnight on Fridays, Taekwondo classes all morning on Saturdays, visit an abused women' childrens' centre every fortnight on Saturday afternoons (I never mentioned that new endeavour of mine, but will mention more of it soon, I hope), church every Sunday morning and Taekwondo training every Sunday afternoon...plus watching American Idol three times a week on Astro and cheering on Anwar tol become the new idol. :D And recently I've joined part of the cast of CBC's Easter play. Yesh, Carol is a very, very busy girl....and though I know it's gonna be super stress after a while, I kinda wish I had more time so I could join even more stuff like my uni's environmental club to go on nature trips and all, or learn some other new martial arts, or just use the time to practice my guitar, or my tricks, or blog, or go to the gym, or whatever. My brother even has this cool music recording program thing on his laptop on which we can record our songs into mp3! I can't wait to start recording some of my own stuff on it...when I can get my bro away from his laptop that is. Not that I would have enough songs to make a whole album or anything. Might do covers of other people's songs. :D Was thinking of Don Henley's Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough and Avril Lavigne's Tomorrow, both very very da nice songs.
Don't know why I'm keeping myself so busy back here when I was so 'lepak' in Australia. Must be the whole work culture thing. Asians just don't know how to take a break...all we wanna do is work, work, work. And if we're smart, we actually earn a lot of money when we're working. Maybe I'm not all that smart, coz' I don't earn anything...except for my taekwondo classes where I earn RM200 a month for teaching 3 hours a week...which is a heckuva lot better pay than any other part-time job I can think of in this country. Plus my instructor plans to let me take over the school I'm teaching now and handle EVRYTHING there. Which means mroe work...but also means more money. Maybe more than RM500 a month. Yowza. I'm so glad I stuck in Taekwondo. :)))
Anyway, I'll shall ramble on about nothing and everything some other time coz' I have a lab in my Genomics and Molecular bla class now. Ciow!