I just spent about 3 and a half hours since 10.15pm chatting with a friend at a cafe. I have questions about my Christian faith which I have to believe he has the answer to. He refuses to tell me because he has no idea how I will react to what he has to say, and he thinks that I will not react well at all, based on his past experiences with other friends. From what I gather, he is 100% sure that God is real. However, he does not believe God is how Christians depict him to be. But he does not what to be the one to break a person's faith. And of course I'm just all the more curious to find out what he knows.
The most I could get out of him however, was a way to get answer to my burning questions.... direct from the source, i.e. the big G Himself.
Listen without expectations.
Now whether I can actually do that is another story. Stopping and listening, I have tried and got nothing. Listening without expectations....that is ... a challenge. I do believe I've talked about how I have this fear about God telling me something I don't wanna hear. And I guess hoping that I won't hear something I don't wanna hear is a form of expectation.
But the burning questions will continue to burn until I get my answers. So I will try.
And we'll see what happens. ;-)
My friend also did say something about how I should stop thinking too much and being afraid of things going wrong. I don't know how the heck he figures this stuff out about me. I thought I did a pretty good job of making people think I'm the carefree, always happy-go-lucky type. Well, that's why I quite enjoy talking to this guy. :)