Moving out soon, with some wierdness and drama on the side

I decided to rent a place in SS19 and just put down the deposit this week as well as booked some furniture for the place. There were two places I was interested in, one looked a bit older and wasn't repainted on the inside but was partially furnished with wardrobes and kitchen cabinets and the landlord said he would put in an air-conditioner for free. At first I was going to go with that, but the stupid thing about that house is that the main bathroom is in the master bedroom, so if I had a housemate, she (or he, but it would have to be a very trustworthy 'he') would have to go into my bedroom to use the toilet, which is more than weird. The other place, the rent is slightly higher but it was fully repainted and the living room space is bigger, plus the main bathroom is outside of the bedrooms, so no issues there, but it's completely unfurnished which means I need to get everything myself. Last Saturday, when I saw both places, I was so ready to go for the first one, and I actually told the landlord I would bank in the deposit that day itself. But something kept bugging me to go for the other one (I think I wasn't very comfy with the first landlord) so I went with my gut and had to inform my agent for the first place that I wasn't going for it after all.

Sidetracking a bit, that agent was a bit weird too. He would send me multiple smses telling me the same thing, only paraphrased. And he kept sms-ing me with 'oks' and 'thanks'.

Weirdos like these should be arrested for abuse of their phones.

So anyway, I'm now trying to decide whether to shift out this weekend or wait til end of of the month. I can do either, and since my wonderful mum has forbidden me to take a bed and or wardrobes (apparently it's more important for my brother and sister-in-law in the US who comes back once in every 2 to 3 years to have a place to sleep, so in the remaining time the bed can just kinda rot), I can move out easily.

Sidetracking a bit AGAIN, as expected, she was not happy about me moving out. For some reason, if I'm moving overseas to find a better life, it's fine. Or if I'm moving out because I'm getting married, it's fine. But if I'm moving out single because I want my own space to do things however I like, it means I'm rebellious and unappreciative of all the things she has done for me after sooo many years. And it's too difficult for me to explain that I do know she has done a lot for me, but the thing is, but I'm old to enough to run things how I want without being subjected to her restrictions of how a house should be run, and I don't see why she has to interpret me moving out like it's because I hate her or don't appreciate her. In her mind, I am free to do a lot of things, but I can't invite friends over because she hates the house getting dirty. I can't decorate the house however I want coz' she complains it all becomes junk. I can't keep any more animals because she always makes it into her 'problem' although I'm perfectly capable of taking care of my pets myself. She always has something to complain about and no matter what I or my father do to try and meet her expectations, nothing makes her happy. And when I said I was moving out, she had a wonderful comment about how I have no brains to think about how difficult it will be living by myself, although when I was 21 years old I lived almost a whole year by myself, taking care of my own space and survived quite well. The funny thing is when I told my dad I was moving out, he said that HE wanted to move out because of my mother's ridiculous expectations as well. It's sad as well because we are not the only family members who have issues with her, and she simply cannot understand why. She just gets mad and miserable about why all people just can't follow her way of doing things or meet her expectations, when the fact is just that not everyone thinks like her or believes her way is best.

So anyway, it's unfortunate that is came to this, but I'm sure how to talk to her anymore, so I just don't talk to her. To be honest, and I know that this may actually sound evil of me as a child, but I wish that when it comes the times her to go, I wish she would just pass away quickly and easily. Because if she was to be bedridden, I can only imagine the string of irate comments that will come out of her every day and have to be dealt with by whoever is taking care of her. It's not only to spare whoever that person is, but also if she would rather complain all the time about small things instead of enjoying more important things, you know, like actually talking to your children and getting to know why they think or act a certain way instead of getting all uptight because they don't think like you, then what joy is there in your life? You live an angry life, and you make your family feel bad all the time.

Sorry, sidetracked a bit too much there. I am looking forward to my own place. Of course, the feeling is marred a bit, although I was pretty much expecting it, but there's nothing much I can do about her, I can only do what I need to do for myself and hope things get better between us one day. I have a wishlist of stuff, which would probably make up my next post. Hey, it's not only the married people who should get housewarming gifts, right? Hint hint hint.