Those things in my head called thoughts

Garsh, is it ten days into the new year already? Before I know it, it'll be 2007 soon.... :P I know I've been kind of absent from the blogging scene for a while, and yes, I still haven't put up the pics from my Singapore trip (will do that when it's not 3am and I'm feeling slightly braindead). I'm not proud to say that my absence have been mainly due to me being stuck to my brother's PS2, like, almost every free second I have. Yup, sad to say that ever since he bought that PS2 last year around November, I have become quite the video game addict. I just only finished playing Prince of Persia 2 tonight, which I thought was like the best game ever mainly coz' of the rock music (which my brother hated so much!) but also coz' of the cool gameplay and the interesting storyline. My only main peeves were that the game had lotsa unnecessary sexual innuendos, a couple of swear words, and plenty of blood spilling, which makes the games less than family friendly. There were these female baddies that would say things that made me think they were eternally horny dominatrixes, which makes me wonder what went on in the heads of the folks who made this game... *shiver*

ANYWAY, my addiction is finally going to be cut short when my bro leaves back to the United States on Wednesday for work, as he's taking the PS2 along with him. I'm actually glad coz' now I can get back to actually doing something productive with my time.... though I will miss being able to play DDR at home! I haven't even been writing in my journal for several MONTHS, starting from around the time my bro got that PS2. Which I don't think is a good thing, coz' the journal is the place for all my deepest, darkest thoughts, and if I don't take the time to write and mull over those thoughts, they end up hanging over my head like a cloud and I don't deal with them. Writing also usually gives me a fresh perspective or revelation on my deep, dark thoughts, which is usually something positive. Of course, writing about stuff that really frustrates or saddens me also forces out all those really annoying bad emotions. Which is maybe why I haven't really been wanting to write in my journal, coz' it's a lot easier to vegetate in front of the tv and just not deal with those emotions. :P Coz' I seem to be having quite a few of those lately.

Where do I start? Well, first of all, I've come to realise that I have a lot of fears in me that know I shouldn't be having. Fear of actually having to get a real job soon and having to face the dog-eat-dog working world while earning my own keep and dealing with all that 'grown-up' stuff like bills, and buying house and car and whatnot. Fear of getting too close to people because I don't wanna get hurt. And other fears that I don't think I wana get into detail about. And then there's the frustration of being around a certain person who is so negative and acts like the whole world, even her family, has something against her even though it isn't true. And then there's the annoyance at myself for being super impatient with my dad even though I try not to be (not very easy to be patient though, when he does things like asks me the same questions over and over again, or makes me teach him how to use a computer program that he has already used before but can't remember how to use it and he refuses to fiddle around with the program til' he figures it out again, even though I tell him it's the best way to remember how to use a program!). And there's also the annoyance with myself for my laziness in various matters I know I should do but don't do it, like sending out more resumes to companies, or editing some videos on my computer, or waking up earlier to get to work (which has flexible hours, but I almost always reach there no earlier than 1pm).

Basically, I've been kicking myself for being and feeling all these things that I know I shouldn't be and I shouldn't feel. I know I shouldn't fear anything coz' God did say that we don't need to fear or worry, and that worry is a waste of time (so true). I know I should be improving myself and be more patient and hardworking, but I find myself slipping back to old ways.

I suppose just things are only human. But I really don't think I wanna go into 2007 being the same old person I am now. So I guess some new year resolutions are in order! But right now, I need to stop thinking and get to bed. Zzzzz....

HaPpY NeW YeAr!!

Hey all, I'm a little late again with the festive greetings, but here I go: Happy New Year! Wishing you blessing and happiness and love and all that other good stuff!

I wasn't around for a while coz' I went to Singapore for holiday last week with my friend Kooi Im, and had my countdown there. I went to the zoo (but of course!) and also met up with Charlene, the lady from the research and conservation department, whom I've been corresponding with for a job there. She turned out to be super nice, and we just chatted a bit so she could know more about me and I could ask more about what they do at the zoo. Actually, I think I did more asking about the zoo than she did asking about me! So it wasn't actually an interview but more like a 'getting-to-know-each-other' session. She did say that my CV is very impressive, and that they are planning to expand the research and conservation department this year, which is GOOD coz' they're gonna be needing more people then! The bad news is that apparently, many other people have applied to work at the zoo as well. But the other good news is that she said is was good that I went to meet her face to face, whereas the others just sent in their CV, but she hasn't met them personally. So meeting up with her does give me an advantage, I hope! I definitely showed that I really wanted to work at the zoo, which I think is good. Only thing is that I don't think I 'selled myself' enough and didn't stress on my abilities that would be an asset to the zoo. But I just sent her an email, saying thanks for meeting up with me and also highlighting some stuff about me which I think would be plus points for me. If anything else, Charlene can hopefully tell that I really really really want this job, with all my persistance! Well, all I can do now is hope and pray that I will hear the good news from her really soon. Pray for me, pretty pleeeeease!!!!

Oh, I also visited the Night Safari, Underwater World and other places on Sentosa Island, as well as the Singapore Science Centre. For the countdown, we went to Clarke Quay, which is the riverside where there're a lot of posh restaurants that cost a bomb to eat at. We ended up eating at McDonalds and hanging out at the nearby shopping complex until it closed before hanging out at Clarke Quay. There was a mardi gras, so we watched that for a while, then headed to a bar to buy and share a Singapore Sling (famous local drink) and stood around watching football until the countdown. After that, we watched the fireworks and then went back to our hostel. Kooi Im got a bit drunk from the drink (very low alcohol tolerance due to low body mass, a.k.a. she's too freakin' small so she gets drunk easier than big girls like me!) so she got to bed pretty quick. Got a lot of pics, so I'll get round to posting them soon, I hope. :P Anyway, the trip was really fun, even though I did so much walking around and my feet were dying most of the time. Now it's time to get back to normal life and a new year...

Merry Christmas! *pant pant pant*

Well, I know it's kinda late, but you know Christmas is a super busy time and all, what with all the gift buying and wrapping, and parties and seeing relatives I don't see for ages....so I apologize for the lateness, but Merry Christmas! Isn't Sassy just a cutie?

Bleehhh....

Me tired. Working.... at uni everyday. Also.... doing volunteer work for WWF... some tiger conservation stuff.... organizing data from camera trap photos.... Christmas in three days... me going carolling every night from wednesday to friday.... have to go all over the place... come home around midnight.... next day go work again..... no time to do Christmas shopping... Wonder if I should do last minute shopping?... Also dunno what to buy... Next week me going to Singapore for holiday... need to arrange transport... and accommodation... and plan where to go in Singapore... and save money for trip to Singapore.... So braindead.... Must sleep now.... Bleh..... *_*

Carol's first job interview!

I've just been reading about the latest case (which actually happened a while ago in November) about this kid called Khairul Anuar Salim, who was attacked by two hooligans when he tried to stop them from teasing a girl. The hooligans don't piss me off half as much as the hospital to which the kid was sent to. The deposit for the treatment was RM5000, and as it was, the family of the boy didn't have enough money for the deposit at the time, even though they actually could afford it. The hospital people said they wouldn't pay til they got the money, and as a result, the kid died when they started treating him too late. Well, I've already blogged about a similar scenario before, so I won't waste anymore web space on the same ol' complaints. I just hope now the government will live up to their word and revoke the hospital's license for not giving the emergency treatment. I also just sent my opinion to the editors of the Star and the Sun, suggesting that the government set up a healthcare system like Australia's Medicare system. I guess lambasting the hospitals isn't going to help much, but pushing for a change in the healthcare system might!

Anyway, in other news, I just went for my very first job interview last Thursday at a biotech company called Nimura Genetic Solutions based in FRIM. Basically, they extract bioactive compounds from soil microorganisms and plants. And work there involves being stuck in a lab all day, although there is the occasionally romp in the forest to collect soil samples. Nevertheless, it is not a job I'm dying to get. But they were the only company so far to call me in for a real job interview, and it doesn't hurt to find out what they have to offer.

As it turns out, there were quite a number of other people there who were asked in for the interview for two vacancies. Apparently there was a newspaper ad, which I didn't know about. I just sent in an open application coz' my uncle suggested this company. So there I was, in a big conference room with about nine other hopefuls, being grilled by this Japanese-looking guy who didn't say a word, and Chinese lady who did all the talking. Fortunately, I wasn't nervous at all, thanks to much experience in public performances and doing presentations. They only asked a few questions for all of us to answer. First question was "Introduce yourself". And man, I tell you, some of the applicants can really drone on and on about themselves and their life achievements. Some of the people there were also quite experienced, having done their masters and stuff, while only I and another girl were fresh graduates without even honours. So the only things I could expound on were my exemplary grades in uni, and my work experience in a biotech company for my industrial training, and my current part-time RA work with my lecturer.

The next question they asked was "What do you know about our company?". I maintained my poker smiley face, but in my head I was thinking "Oooohhhhhh, crap!". The first guy who answered did not help my confidence. He went on to give the whole history of the company, from when it was established, who worked there, and other stuff he ripped off the company website. Man, he really did his homework. All I could say was that the company did extractions of bioactive compounds from microorganisms and plants. I guess that didn't go down well with the interviewers.

The next question they asked wasn't much better. "Tell us about your honours or masters project". Again, the more experienced applicants went blabbering on for ages about their projects. All I could say was that I hadn't done any projects, but I have some work experience. Bleh.

From then on, I think the interviewers weren't too interested in me anymore coz' they asked everyone else one last question, except for me! They even asked the other fresh grad who had no work experience even, so I'm like "Hmm...did they forget me or something?".

Anyway, they should contact me within the next couple of weeks to let me know whether or not I've been shortlisted. I doubt that I have. In any case, I'm not gonna be too freaked about it. I had also applied to WWF, and even though they said they have no paid positions locally, they do have available positions in Melaka working in Hawksbill turtle conservation. That involves working with an animal, AND working in a marine environment, both of which I love, so I think I will probably go for that! I need to find out more about the job and the salary and all that crap though. I hope the pay's not too pathetic, or else my dad will not be too approving. Must start a praying!

Anyway, I'm still glad I went for that interview, coz' at least now I have some experience on what a job interview is like. Next time, I must do more research on the company who's interviewing me! And I gotta learn to sell myself more and really highlight the good stuff about me that will be useful to the company. Other than that, I'm glad I didn't choke when I spoke. One guy there seemed pretty nervous, even though he had a masters and all. Ah well, it was a good experience. :)