I recently thought of an interesting hypothetical situation. Imagine you're going fishing...you only have enough bait to catch one fish. So while fishing, you happen to catch sight of a really big garoupa. And you've had a taste of garoupa before, so you decide you want to save your bait for that really big garoupa. So you keep throwing your line towards that garoupa, but all the stupid fish does is swim around the lure, seemingly taking interest but never biting.
And then along comes this reasonably sized tilapia. You've had a little taste of tilapia before so you kind of like it, but not as much garoupa. And you've been waiting soooo long for the garoupa to bite, then you don't want to settle for any other fish. But then this tilapia keeps having a go at your bait... and since you only have enough bait for one fish, you keep reeling in to stop tilapia from grabbing that one piece of bait which you want to reserve for the annoying garoupa who is still deciding whether or not to bite.
So what would you do? Keep on waiting for however long it takes for garoupa to bite? Or decide to settle for the tilapia instead?
Ok, so that's not exactly the hypothetical situation I was talking about, but is rather a pretty good analogy of it. Currently there's this guy that I've been really liking for a while now. He has a lot of qualities that I kind of really admire in a guy, and he's fun to be around, so basically I'm at that euphoric stage where I can't imagine meeting anyone else as great as this one guy. Of course, I'm not so naive to say he's the most perfect guy in the world... he does have some traits which I don't really like, but the good parts pretty much outweigh all of that. But though he treats me as a good friend, he hasn't shown any really obvious signs that he has a thing for me.
And then there's this other guy whom I'm beginning to suspect *might*, *possibly* have an interest in me. It's kind of early to tell as I've only recently noticed certain 'hints' from him... and it's also not very obvious sort of hints. And technically there is no reason for me not to like this guy. He's Christian, which is of course very important. He's nice and easy to talk to, and also not too bad looking. He quite possibly could qualify it as one of Cleo's 50 most eligible bachelors. I actually wouldn't mind going out with this guy.... except that I am just not half as interested in him as I am with the other guy that I really like.
So the hypothetical situation is...what would I do if this guy whom I think likes me but I'm not so into decides to ask me to go out with him? Or officially start a relationship?
Of course, the fact that this is a hypothetical situation means it hasn't happened, and by all likelihood it isn't going to happen. But when I asked myself this question, I was actually really stumped.... I'm wasn't sure what I would do. I mean, on one hand, I have emotions invested in one guy and I am waiting and hoping for them to be reciprocated... which might or might not happen, I don't know. On the other hand, there would be this other guy whom I wouldn't mind being with who's already made it clear that he wants to be with me, so the ball is in my court. But I am simply not that interested in him. So should I keep on waiting for the guy whom I really want to be with, which might end up with him never reciprocating my feelings and by which time, the other guy would've moved on so I'm left back to square one again? Or should I settle for the guy who likes me because he is also a good catch, even though he's not the one I really wanted? Garoupa or Tilapia? Tilapia or Garoupa?
Very interesting question indeed...
I think if this actually were to happen in real life, I would just completely freak out. I wouldn't want to be in the position of having to make this kind of decision. But after thinking about it, I decided that if *touch wood*, this situation actually does happen, I think I would continue to wait for Garoupa guy. As stupid as it sounds to wait for someone who quite possibly isn't interested in me... I would rather face the possibility of being disappointed than get into a relationship while still liking another person. It just wouldn't be fair for Tilapia guy... and I would probably end up hurting him even more than if I decided not be with him in the first place. But anyhow, given that I'm not actually in this situation right now (thank God), it's not really the most pressing matter in my love life at the moment.
The more pressing matter is actually learning to be patient when it comes to relationships. I've kind of learned that I really, really, REALLY need to get to know a guy very well first before getting into a relationship. The problem with me before this is that I would be so excited at the prospect of being with a guy that I jumped right into it without knowing the guy well enough. I know it's stupid, I know I should be patient... but I'm not. And I'd like to think that after two experiences, I would have learned my lesson, but I'm afraid I'm not sure that I have. So now I'm split into like two people, one who can't stand all this 'hinting' and waiting for something to happen and would just jump into the relationship again at the first chance I get.... the other person who knows that I am probably not ready to be in another relationship right now and I need to BE PATIENT and get to know the guy better.
But on the other hand, I also don't want to be 'patiently' waiting for a guy who isn't interested in me... which is the second pressing matter in my love life... and one that I have much less control over. I actually would prefer to know whether or not he likes me...if he isn't, then I can straight away forget about any chances of being with him and just accept him as a friend. If he is interested, then it doesn't necessarily mean that we have to get into a relationship right away, but we can still take our time to get to know each other better... but at least I would know that the guy has a thing for me and I'm not really wasting my time and energy investing emotions in a dead duck. And if later on, we decide we want to be together, then great. If not, then at least I could still enjoy the euphoria of knowing he was interested in me. Which is considerably better than this roller coaster of emotions that I'm going through now.
"Oh, he's leaning over to my side. Is that a hint that he likes me?"
"Dang, he went off without saying goodbye to me. I guess he's not that interested."
"He actually notices what I put on my Gmail status. How sweet!"
"Why's he sitting on the other side of this very long table so we're separated by a gazillion friends. Doesn't he want to talk to me??"
Case in point. It's not fun. Not fun at all. I don't know how or why some girls I talk to seem to enjoy the emotional ups and downs that come with having a crush. I. CAN. NOT. STAND. IT. It's comes to the point where I asked God that if something is going to happen between us, let it happen soon, or else just take away these feelings I have for him. *Haaaiii.....*
By the way, now that I think about it, my favourite fish is actually salmon... but I shall not complicate things any further.
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