I'm kind of sitting here not really sure what to write about and kind of updating my blog for the sake of assuring people who actually bother to read it that I have not disappeared off the face of the earth. Unfortunately I've been going through a phase of kind of wanting to keep a low profile and not my usually blab-about-whatever-I-feel-like self here... as weird as it may sound, I'm pretty sure it's the side effects of my experiences at my previous job, where I got nitpicked on by my boss for so many stupid things that I became rather withdrawn, tense and paranoid that anything I do would somehow or another turn out to be wrong... and even now at my new job, where far as I can see my bosses and the culture is much better, I'm still having trouble 'un-traumatizing' myself from past experiences. Fine example is sending emails... one of the things I got into trouble for before was sending emails to 'outsiders' (which includes people WITHIN the company, but not under my bosses' team) without going though my boss, which ticked him off coz' he was afraid that I would say stuff that would ruin the image of his team, and he was also mad coz' I refered to him as 'my manager' instead of by his correct position in one of my emails. Later on, I realized that this culture of fear and image protection isn't just his problem, but really stems from people at the top. Anyhow, after that, I was super careful about whatever I wrote in my emails, and was always wondering if I should check with him first before sending anything... even for small minor things that bosses shouldn't even be bothered about. Naturally, repeated scanning through emails for mistakes or anything that could 'ruin company's image' was quite a waste of time when I could be doing more important work. Certainly, being paranoid is far from productive.
But anyhow, so far things have been good at my new office. I'm still enjoying the fact that it's only 7 minutes drive from my house (would be less if not for a patch of road at the shortcut that's not tarred and full of potholes, which I would rather avoid), I can wake up after 8am and be at office in half an hour, and when I'm sleepy, I can come back during lunch hour and nap in my cozy bed. Hmmm... So far no problems with bosses and colleagues are all great (no office bullies. Whew!) and the one of the German directors who only comes in once a month or so just loves going around, hugging and kissing all the girls (on the head, yeah!) everytime he sees them. He didn't do it to me the first time we met, of course, he just shook my hand hard enough that I thought it was going to fall off!
I can't really say everything will continue being hunky dory since I've only been here like 2 weeks. Usually I figure out whether I love the place or not within 6 months... so I hope and pray I can do well here and be here for a loooooong time. And even more hopefully, I get my groove back and post more interesting stuff here. :P
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