Updates on grandma

I probably should've blogged about my grandma a long time ago, but never got round to it. I guess most people already know that for the past couple of years my grandma (my dad's mum) was staying with my family, before which she was staying in Ipoh under the care of my dad's sister-in-law. She's really old, over 85 at least, and her memory is fading such that she can remember things that happened a long time ago, and she remembers family and friends, but she can't remember things that happened recently, even a few minutes befoerhand. And she could only walk around on a cane. That is, until January this year, when I was taking her out and while going down the stairs, she buckled on the lowest step and landed on her bum on the floor. I took her back home straight away coz' she said it was painful, but it wasn't until later on in the day when my parents realised something was seriously wrong when she couldn't even stand up. And my grandma is such a quiet old lady, she didn't even tell us that she was in pain, and kept insisting that sooner or later she would be able to stand up. Well, eventually my dad called up this nursing home in Cheras and got them to come help her there, since we were too afraid to move her ourselves coz' it might injure her further. There was a doctor there to check up on her and after an x-ray, they found out that she probably had a fracture in her right thigh.

So she's been there for the last few months, and during that time, everytime we went to see her and asked her how the place was, she would say it's very nice and the helpers are very friendly and all. At the beginning, she would mostly be sitting in a wheelchair watching the big tv that they have there. Then after some time, we noticed her getting thinner and frailer because she was eating less and less, and she would spend more time sleeping. I would keep telling her to eat more and everytime she would smile at me and say ok, but the caretakers always told us she would only eat a bite or two each meal. I don't know why she didn't want to eat, but because of it, she kept getting weaker and weaker.

Last week when I went to visit her with my dad, she was lying in bed but not sleeping. She really looked like skin and bones, with some red rashes on her arm, and her feet were swollen because some blood vessels had ruptured in her leg. She said she was hungry so we asked her what she wanted to eat and she said she wanted some 'Char Siu Pau', or 'Siu Mai', or Popiah. Considering it's not easy to find 'Siu Mai' and Popiah around there, my dad went off to look for 'Char Siu Pau', while I stayed by her bedside and just talked to her. I told her it was recently my birthday and also my brother's birthday (which was two days after mine) and that I went to Swenson's to stuff myself with ice cream. And I told her about a whole lot of other nonsense going on in my life. At one point she reached out her hand, and I just held it after that and kept talking to her til my dad came back. When I fed her the Char Siu Pau, she only ate one small piece then refused to eat any more. Then I asked her if she wanted to drink some water, and she said yes, so I went to get some. But when I got back, she didn't want to drink anymore and said she'd drink later.

Since a week ago, my dad got news that my grandma had a stroke and now she's on an IV drip coz' she's dehydrated and won't eat. Some relatives and friends from Ipoh came down yesterday to visit her. And I'll be going tomorrow to see her. We all know that my grandma doesn't have much time left, and my dad and his brothers have been discussing funeral plans. My dad just asked me today whether I would like to say an eulogy for her at the funeral and 'represent' the grandkids. It's kind of funny coz' my dad is always the one who hates to talk about anything to do with death whereas I don't mind talking about it, but here he was talking about who's going to represent who in giving eulogies and I didn't like it coz' grandma isn't even gone yet!

I know grandma will be leaving us soon, and I though I wasn't all that close to her, I think I will miss having her around. She was never one to complain about anything and everytime I took her to church she would have a smile for everyone. At this point, I suppose the best thing to pray for her is just that she will be comfortable, at peace and not in pain.