Ah...another year has kept up on us all yet again, and if you're like me, you're wondering how come the time moved so fast. And then you realize it's coz' you're getting old. Hahaha. Happy new year, everybody! And everyone says it's the time to start afresh and all that jazz... well usually I start off the year feeling quite blah...and I almost did this year (especially since I celebrated my countdown sitting in front of my laptop. How very un-exciting!)...but right now I am feeling, well, not so blah. Coz' for one thing, I got a very nice Christmas present from my mum, which is that absolutely beeaaauuuutiful Sony Ericsson W660i phone I was handphone lust for a few months back. Well, my mum actually gave me most of the money to go and buy it coz' she asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I told her I wanted that phone. I didn't really think she would seriously give me money for it... but she actually did! Though the phone coz more than Rm100 than what she gave me, so I just paid the rest of it. Just imagine, I first saw it at the end of August and it was love at first sight for me... and now after 4 whole months of waiting for the price to drop, I got my dream phone! Woohoo! It's just such a pretty girly red and gold phone with flowery engravings on the back. And the funny thing is I set my ringtone as "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven.... so you see this girly girl phone, but once it rings, this headbanging rocker song blares out of it. :D For my message ringtone I currently use Yoda from Star Wars saying "Hmm... a message from the dark side you have...". Which is rather unoriginal...soooo I plan to do a voice recording on my phone (yes, it records sounds! Whoopie!) of one of my Sunday School kids saying something like "Carol Jie Jie, you have a message! Read it now! Why you never read? Hellooo...." Hehe, that would be cute. Unfortunately the kid I wanted to do the recording wasn't around last Sunday at church, so I still have to settle with Yoda for a while... And another really cool thing about my phone, which I was like so "WOW!" when I found it, is this neat little application that shows how to play most of the weird guitar chords, and even plays a sample note so I know what it should sound like. For a hapless guitarist who rarely remembers anything more complicated than a minor chord, this is like Godsend!!! Before this I really liked the phone... but just coz' of that, I really LOVE my phone. Eeee hee hee heeeee!!!
Ok, enough of giggling like a schoolgirl. Another new thing I've been working on has to do with my blog. As you may have noticed, for some reason, my blog pictures have decided to mysteriously disappear off the face of my blog. So instead of fixing that issue, I decided to completely revamp the look of my blog. Which I think is long overdue, coz' it kind of looks like a five year old drew the background... but I was either too busy or too lazy to bother to relearn html, css, xml and God knows what other weird scripting languages they use to make these things. Anyway, over the weekend, I just sat down and did it...copied my original html, and edited it to change the background, the title picture, the colour scheme...eeeverything! The only things left untouched are my tagboard and my hit counter... which I may or may not change, depending on my mood.
So I saved my new html on notepad, opened it using Explorer and refreshed it when needed to check whether my changes came out correctly or not. So after a painstaking two days of working nonstop on this little project, it finally looked like how I wanted it to. So I copied the new html, pasted it onto my blogger template, clicked 'Preview' and TADA.....!!!
It came out ALLLL wrong.
Basically everything was all over the place. The sidebar was too wide and the words overlapped the space where my blog entries are supposed to be....while my blog entry column is just one small koochi little box in a corner. If you were in my living room at the time, you probably would have heard loud wails of despair coming from Carol's room. Apparently, the people at Blogger decided to be smart and add some new scripting language specifically for their templates... and since my html didn't have it...whammo.... my lovely template became a big mess. *sob sob* :'(
Well, my hard work hasn't gone to waste. I just need more time to figure out what is it I need to add... worse come to worse, I have to grab one of the blogger templates and add in my new scripts so I don't break whatever annoying scripts they need to make my blog appear like it should. Which is going to be a long and painful process which I don't have time for til this weekend coz' of that time consuming thing called WORK. So my grand launching of my new blog look will just have to be postponed... *hopefully* I can get it to work by this weekend.
In other, more gossipy news, my ex recently sent me a comment here telling me it's been a while since he visited my blog and it seems I've been "quite spiteful" in my last few entries. And he went on about how there was no chance for us to be friends anymore (because when I broke up with I told him I wouldn't mind being friends) coz' it would just be an "empty hollow relationship". And he also said that I need to stop hanging onto him coz' he's stopped hanging onto me. And I found the whole message rather amusing, though not very surprising as I have heard plenty of rather illogical things coming out of him, especially when he's angry.
First of all, where in my last few entries have I been 'spiteful'? The closest thing I can think of my mention of his post alcohol-drinking toilet-puking episode during our New Year's celebration last year. I don't remember insulting him when I mentioned that. I do remember saying I enjoyed the rest of my holiday with him aside from the toilet puking incident. So I'm not exactly sure what his definition of 'spite' is. Far as I know, mentioning potentially embarassing incidents about my ex, unless obviously made in malice, isn't spite. I can give some very good examples of what spite is in terms of our previous relationship, but I'm afraid I will degenerate into ex-boyfriend-bashing, so I will just leave it to your imagination.
Secondly, I don't know where he got the idea that I haven't gotten over him simply because I still mention him in my blogs. Err...hello? I like another guy and I've written quite a bit about my crush on him.... that *should* be a pretty good hint that I am over him. Of course, initially I did feel weird liking another guy so soon after the breakup, and I did feel it was being 'disrespectful' to our previous relationship. But respecting the memories of a previous relationship is NOT the same as still hanging onto him... I realized it wasn't going to work out, broke up with him for good reason, and got over it. I don't really see much point in hanging onto someone I know I can't be with. But I'm also not the type who must completely erase all memories of my ex in order to move on. I can still talk about previous relationships without falling into whiny emo depression. And I can still still happily be friends with my first ex... we keep in occasional contact through email. So I don't understand what's with his refusal to stay friends...but if that's the way he wants it, I told him that there's no point of him still coming back to read my blog (and reading between the lines when there is nothing to be read...though of course I didn't say that to him. :P). If we agreed to be friends still, then fine, I don't mind him reading my blog. But I just find it strange and creepy that he would still read my blog when he keeps telling me he doesn't want to be friends anymore. Like if he wants me out of his life, *why* is he still reading my blog? It kind of suggests that HE is the one who is still hanging onto me.
Of course, when I told him that, I kind of expected him to take it the wrong way. And I was right! In his reply, he totally blew up at the suggestion that he's still hanging onto me... and also said something along the lines of "For the record, yesterday was the only time i went into your blog, ok" Err... yessss, I'm sure it is. I have had this blog for 3 years now, all the time without any incident. Immediately after the breakup, I suddenly get several incredibly nasty comments on my blog from some anonymous people...or person. What an amaaaazing coincidence. Also an amazing coincidence that I was not born yesterday. He also wrote in extra large, bold red letters (which kind of suggests he was pretty mad) telling me to stay out of his life. " Clear enough for you? Don't reply! Ok? I will take it as a yes." Well, I didn't reply... not because I feel threatened in any way by this spitfire of an ex, but coz' I don't really feel like wasting more time and energy trying to talk logic into an illogical person who only knows how to shout and insult me when all I did is suggest that he's still hung up on me. I mean, if you wants to call me things like "childish" and "immature", then please at least support your allegations by picking apart something I said in a logical manner to prove that I am childish or immature so I possibly skulk over the possibility of you being right. But if all you do is call me names and then rant on about how I am not worthy of your family and therefore I shouldn't even think of contacting you or your family ever again (which, btw, I have less than zero intention of doing), well, I know kids in primary school who are just as good at name-calling.
Anyway, I shall let him happily assume that he scared me into silence, or whatever it was he was hoping to accomplish by his email-yelling. Unless of course, he comes back and reads my blog again and realizes I feel nothing more than amused at his immature outburst. BUT he did mention that he didn't care what happens in my life anymore... which I assume means he won't read my blog anymore. So if he actually doesn't read my blog anymore, then I can happily write whatever I want about him here and my blog will still be free of nasty comments. If he does still come back and reads, I will probably have more interesting comments to deal with... but then it would REALLY prove my point that he's the one who is still hung up over me...not only is he volatile and illogical, but he'd be a hypocrite for insisting he's over me and yet reading my blog. How sad would that be... hmm....
I was hoping this relationship ended on better terms and not like this... but I'm guessing that I breaking up with him must have really bruised his ego and now he wants to find any little small reason to hate me... and quite possibly make me hate him so I will say something incredibly insulting about him, and then he'll REALLY have a reason to hate me. Well yes, I am quite peeved that he is behaving like this, but I still prefer to remember the good times. I took down all the pictures of us together in my room... but kept them away in an album. The way his temper is, I wouldn't put it pass him to take any pictures of me and or anything I gave him, throw it into a pile and burn it up to ashes.
But anyhow, since the new year brings renewal and refreshing, this incident, as sad as it is, also makes me glad for the possibilities of new and much better relationships to come. Hahaha, now THAT is really corny crap. :)
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Garoupa vs. Tilapia
I recently thought of an interesting hypothetical situation. Imagine you're going fishing...you only have enough bait to catch one fish. So while fishing, you happen to catch sight of a really big garoupa. And you've had a taste of garoupa before, so you decide you want to save your bait for that really big garoupa. So you keep throwing your line towards that garoupa, but all the stupid fish does is swim around the lure, seemingly taking interest but never biting.
And then along comes this reasonably sized tilapia. You've had a little taste of tilapia before so you kind of like it, but not as much garoupa. And you've been waiting soooo long for the garoupa to bite, then you don't want to settle for any other fish. But then this tilapia keeps having a go at your bait... and since you only have enough bait for one fish, you keep reeling in to stop tilapia from grabbing that one piece of bait which you want to reserve for the annoying garoupa who is still deciding whether or not to bite.
So what would you do? Keep on waiting for however long it takes for garoupa to bite? Or decide to settle for the tilapia instead?
Ok, so that's not exactly the hypothetical situation I was talking about, but is rather a pretty good analogy of it. Currently there's this guy that I've been really liking for a while now. He has a lot of qualities that I kind of really admire in a guy, and he's fun to be around, so basically I'm at that euphoric stage where I can't imagine meeting anyone else as great as this one guy. Of course, I'm not so naive to say he's the most perfect guy in the world... he does have some traits which I don't really like, but the good parts pretty much outweigh all of that. But though he treats me as a good friend, he hasn't shown any really obvious signs that he has a thing for me.
And then there's this other guy whom I'm beginning to suspect *might*, *possibly* have an interest in me. It's kind of early to tell as I've only recently noticed certain 'hints' from him... and it's also not very obvious sort of hints. And technically there is no reason for me not to like this guy. He's Christian, which is of course very important. He's nice and easy to talk to, and also not too bad looking. He quite possibly could qualify it as one of Cleo's 50 most eligible bachelors. I actually wouldn't mind going out with this guy.... except that I am just not half as interested in him as I am with the other guy that I really like.
So the hypothetical situation is...what would I do if this guy whom I think likes me but I'm not so into decides to ask me to go out with him? Or officially start a relationship?
Of course, the fact that this is a hypothetical situation means it hasn't happened, and by all likelihood it isn't going to happen. But when I asked myself this question, I was actually really stumped.... I'm wasn't sure what I would do. I mean, on one hand, I have emotions invested in one guy and I am waiting and hoping for them to be reciprocated... which might or might not happen, I don't know. On the other hand, there would be this other guy whom I wouldn't mind being with who's already made it clear that he wants to be with me, so the ball is in my court. But I am simply not that interested in him. So should I keep on waiting for the guy whom I really want to be with, which might end up with him never reciprocating my feelings and by which time, the other guy would've moved on so I'm left back to square one again? Or should I settle for the guy who likes me because he is also a good catch, even though he's not the one I really wanted? Garoupa or Tilapia? Tilapia or Garoupa?
Very interesting question indeed...
I think if this actually were to happen in real life, I would just completely freak out. I wouldn't want to be in the position of having to make this kind of decision. But after thinking about it, I decided that if *touch wood*, this situation actually does happen, I think I would continue to wait for Garoupa guy. As stupid as it sounds to wait for someone who quite possibly isn't interested in me... I would rather face the possibility of being disappointed than get into a relationship while still liking another person. It just wouldn't be fair for Tilapia guy... and I would probably end up hurting him even more than if I decided not be with him in the first place. But anyhow, given that I'm not actually in this situation right now (thank God), it's not really the most pressing matter in my love life at the moment.
The more pressing matter is actually learning to be patient when it comes to relationships. I've kind of learned that I really, really, REALLY need to get to know a guy very well first before getting into a relationship. The problem with me before this is that I would be so excited at the prospect of being with a guy that I jumped right into it without knowing the guy well enough. I know it's stupid, I know I should be patient... but I'm not. And I'd like to think that after two experiences, I would have learned my lesson, but I'm afraid I'm not sure that I have. So now I'm split into like two people, one who can't stand all this 'hinting' and waiting for something to happen and would just jump into the relationship again at the first chance I get.... the other person who knows that I am probably not ready to be in another relationship right now and I need to BE PATIENT and get to know the guy better.
But on the other hand, I also don't want to be 'patiently' waiting for a guy who isn't interested in me... which is the second pressing matter in my love life... and one that I have much less control over. I actually would prefer to know whether or not he likes me...if he isn't, then I can straight away forget about any chances of being with him and just accept him as a friend. If he is interested, then it doesn't necessarily mean that we have to get into a relationship right away, but we can still take our time to get to know each other better... but at least I would know that the guy has a thing for me and I'm not really wasting my time and energy investing emotions in a dead duck. And if later on, we decide we want to be together, then great. If not, then at least I could still enjoy the euphoria of knowing he was interested in me. Which is considerably better than this roller coaster of emotions that I'm going through now.
"Oh, he's leaning over to my side. Is that a hint that he likes me?"
"Dang, he went off without saying goodbye to me. I guess he's not that interested."
"He actually notices what I put on my Gmail status. How sweet!"
"Why's he sitting on the other side of this very long table so we're separated by a gazillion friends. Doesn't he want to talk to me??"
Case in point. It's not fun. Not fun at all. I don't know how or why some girls I talk to seem to enjoy the emotional ups and downs that come with having a crush. I. CAN. NOT. STAND. IT. It's comes to the point where I asked God that if something is going to happen between us, let it happen soon, or else just take away these feelings I have for him. *Haaaiii.....*
By the way, now that I think about it, my favourite fish is actually salmon... but I shall not complicate things any further.
And then along comes this reasonably sized tilapia. You've had a little taste of tilapia before so you kind of like it, but not as much garoupa. And you've been waiting soooo long for the garoupa to bite, then you don't want to settle for any other fish. But then this tilapia keeps having a go at your bait... and since you only have enough bait for one fish, you keep reeling in to stop tilapia from grabbing that one piece of bait which you want to reserve for the annoying garoupa who is still deciding whether or not to bite.
So what would you do? Keep on waiting for however long it takes for garoupa to bite? Or decide to settle for the tilapia instead?
Ok, so that's not exactly the hypothetical situation I was talking about, but is rather a pretty good analogy of it. Currently there's this guy that I've been really liking for a while now. He has a lot of qualities that I kind of really admire in a guy, and he's fun to be around, so basically I'm at that euphoric stage where I can't imagine meeting anyone else as great as this one guy. Of course, I'm not so naive to say he's the most perfect guy in the world... he does have some traits which I don't really like, but the good parts pretty much outweigh all of that. But though he treats me as a good friend, he hasn't shown any really obvious signs that he has a thing for me.
And then there's this other guy whom I'm beginning to suspect *might*, *possibly* have an interest in me. It's kind of early to tell as I've only recently noticed certain 'hints' from him... and it's also not very obvious sort of hints. And technically there is no reason for me not to like this guy. He's Christian, which is of course very important. He's nice and easy to talk to, and also not too bad looking. He quite possibly could qualify it as one of Cleo's 50 most eligible bachelors. I actually wouldn't mind going out with this guy.... except that I am just not half as interested in him as I am with the other guy that I really like.
So the hypothetical situation is...what would I do if this guy whom I think likes me but I'm not so into decides to ask me to go out with him? Or officially start a relationship?
Of course, the fact that this is a hypothetical situation means it hasn't happened, and by all likelihood it isn't going to happen. But when I asked myself this question, I was actually really stumped.... I'm wasn't sure what I would do. I mean, on one hand, I have emotions invested in one guy and I am waiting and hoping for them to be reciprocated... which might or might not happen, I don't know. On the other hand, there would be this other guy whom I wouldn't mind being with who's already made it clear that he wants to be with me, so the ball is in my court. But I am simply not that interested in him. So should I keep on waiting for the guy whom I really want to be with, which might end up with him never reciprocating my feelings and by which time, the other guy would've moved on so I'm left back to square one again? Or should I settle for the guy who likes me because he is also a good catch, even though he's not the one I really wanted? Garoupa or Tilapia? Tilapia or Garoupa?
Very interesting question indeed...
I think if this actually were to happen in real life, I would just completely freak out. I wouldn't want to be in the position of having to make this kind of decision. But after thinking about it, I decided that if *touch wood*, this situation actually does happen, I think I would continue to wait for Garoupa guy. As stupid as it sounds to wait for someone who quite possibly isn't interested in me... I would rather face the possibility of being disappointed than get into a relationship while still liking another person. It just wouldn't be fair for Tilapia guy... and I would probably end up hurting him even more than if I decided not be with him in the first place. But anyhow, given that I'm not actually in this situation right now (thank God), it's not really the most pressing matter in my love life at the moment.
The more pressing matter is actually learning to be patient when it comes to relationships. I've kind of learned that I really, really, REALLY need to get to know a guy very well first before getting into a relationship. The problem with me before this is that I would be so excited at the prospect of being with a guy that I jumped right into it without knowing the guy well enough. I know it's stupid, I know I should be patient... but I'm not. And I'd like to think that after two experiences, I would have learned my lesson, but I'm afraid I'm not sure that I have. So now I'm split into like two people, one who can't stand all this 'hinting' and waiting for something to happen and would just jump into the relationship again at the first chance I get.... the other person who knows that I am probably not ready to be in another relationship right now and I need to BE PATIENT and get to know the guy better.
But on the other hand, I also don't want to be 'patiently' waiting for a guy who isn't interested in me... which is the second pressing matter in my love life... and one that I have much less control over. I actually would prefer to know whether or not he likes me...if he isn't, then I can straight away forget about any chances of being with him and just accept him as a friend. If he is interested, then it doesn't necessarily mean that we have to get into a relationship right away, but we can still take our time to get to know each other better... but at least I would know that the guy has a thing for me and I'm not really wasting my time and energy investing emotions in a dead duck. And if later on, we decide we want to be together, then great. If not, then at least I could still enjoy the euphoria of knowing he was interested in me. Which is considerably better than this roller coaster of emotions that I'm going through now.
"Oh, he's leaning over to my side. Is that a hint that he likes me?"
"Dang, he went off without saying goodbye to me. I guess he's not that interested."
"He actually notices what I put on my Gmail status. How sweet!"
"Why's he sitting on the other side of this very long table so we're separated by a gazillion friends. Doesn't he want to talk to me??"
Case in point. It's not fun. Not fun at all. I don't know how or why some girls I talk to seem to enjoy the emotional ups and downs that come with having a crush. I. CAN. NOT. STAND. IT. It's comes to the point where I asked God that if something is going to happen between us, let it happen soon, or else just take away these feelings I have for him. *Haaaiii.....*
By the way, now that I think about it, my favourite fish is actually salmon... but I shall not complicate things any further.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
The joyfulness and loneliness of Christmas
It's 3 days to Christmas and as usual, my church has been a-busying with all sorts of Christmas activities. Well, mainly just the carolling and a Christmas Children's Production which runs on two days, which was yesterday (Friday) and today (Saturday). And since I'm involved in both carolling and the play, my Christmas hasn't been much of a holiday yet. More like nonstop practice, practice and more practice. Which is quite tiring, but enjoyable as well. We get to do some pretty funny warm-ups before each play practice... things likes pretending to be statues acting out various scenes, 'passing claps' to each other in a circle, tongue twisters, rolling up into little balls and vocal warm-ups...all mainly to help us release our inhibitions on stage as well as to help us learn to project our voices.
Our first run for the play today went pretty well. The church was quite full of visitors, and the play went 'almost' perfect...I say 'almost' because the play totally did not end as planned. Some of the cast was supposed to do a dance to the song 'Joy (To The World)' by Avalon, and we were supposed to have some kids doing a dance with the banners while I, who plays the very old lady with the English accent (decided to go for that instead of the Diedric the Disgruntled Elf voice, coz' it's very hard to sing with that voice :P) was supposed to toss aside my walking stick and break out into a very energetic and hilarious dance at the end. Somehow or another the technical people played the wrong part of the finale song, and all of us who were dancing had to 'improvise'. Needless to say, it was exceedingly messy, and the kids couldn't do their banner dance and I couldn't do my old lady dance. But at least we managed to cover up somewhat when everyone moved aside and left the poor guy who plays a court jester in the middle of the stage. He just pretended to look so blur that it turned out to be so funny! Apparently someone said that that was the best part of the show...so it wasn't a total disaster. :) Anyhow, we have another run tomorrow, so *hopefully* the same screw-up doesn't happen again. But other than that, from what I could tell backstage, everything else went really well. The timing was pretty good, the prop changes for the different scenes were done pretty fast, and one of the kids who was saying her lines so softly during practices was much louder...basically it was MUCH better than our practices. Thank God!
So anyway, tomorrow is going to be another busy day, and I still need to wake up early to do some super last minute Christmas shopping. Not exactly a fun task for me since I don't really enjoy shopping and I enjoy thinking of what to buy for people even less. I hate getting impersonal presents that I don't know whether people will like or not...it makes my life a whole lot easier if I have a pretty good idea what the person wants or likes, coz' then I don't have to wrack my brains figuring out what to get them that won't end up gathering dust in some corner of their house...or even worse, re-wrapped and thrown into the next church Christmas gift exchange. Buying presents for church people is especially difficult since there are just so many people to buy for, and in addition to the problem of not knowing what they want or like, I also have a problem of insufficient finances to buy reasonably good presents. So whenever I had the time in previous years, I'd try to do something a bit more personal like a handmade bookmark for everyone... or at least give some cute little bag of candies. But this year, I haven't had the time to do that, so I had to settle for the dreaded 'less personal and probably useless' little trinkets. And I still haven't gotten something for all my friends. Bleah... maybe I'll just go for the good ol' candy canes, if I can find some tomorrow! Or I could just go all scrooge-like and not buy presents for those I haven't bought for. Wahahaha.
In addition to the headache of present-buying during Christmas is also that annoying feeling that I'm going to spend another Christmas and New Year without a 'special someone' to share it with. Well, yes, I have family and friends to spend the holidays with... and usually I get along pretty fine without a guy in my life (except when I have a crush on a guy, which is equally as annoying, and is unfortunately happening as well!!!)... but it's always around this time of year when I start thinking how nice it would be to have a boyfriend to go hang out with during the holidays, or to give a smoochie to when the new year countdown ends. And yes, the fact that I am so totally into a guy right now TOTALLY is not helping. But anyhow, the annoying pangs will go away once the new years starts and I'm all busy at work again. Plus the only time I've ever had a guy to celebrate Christmas and new year with me was last year... and one of the most unforgettable memories of that time was seeing him throw up nonstop in the toilet bowl because he drank beer, wine and God knows what other kinds of alcohol, which apparently did not mix well in his stomach. Not exactly one of the highlights of my life... and sort of helped to kill my notions of a romantic Christmas and New Year celebrations with that 'special someone'. Hahaha, ok ok, so I'm being a bit unfair coz' I did enjoy spending the holidays hanging out with him in Singapore... but that's all over now. I'm single again, liking another guy, hoping against hope that by some miracle of God I would get the best Christmas present in the form of this guy actually telling me that he likes me too, but knowing that that is probably never going to happen and I shall just enjoy my celebrations as I usually do... with family and friends. Which I am still thankful for, considering there are probably tons of people out there who might be away from their family and friends, or have no one to celebrate with at all... which is why as ironic as it is, Christmas can be a lonely time for some people.
I'm thinking this year, I'll indulge in my developing love for artsy fartsy photography and go walk around in some nicely decorated shopping complexes, taking pictures of the decorations. But how nice if I could do that with that 'special someone'....Hahaha...*Carol slaps herself on the head*.
Our first run for the play today went pretty well. The church was quite full of visitors, and the play went 'almost' perfect...I say 'almost' because the play totally did not end as planned. Some of the cast was supposed to do a dance to the song 'Joy (To The World)' by Avalon, and we were supposed to have some kids doing a dance with the banners while I, who plays the very old lady with the English accent (decided to go for that instead of the Diedric the Disgruntled Elf voice, coz' it's very hard to sing with that voice :P) was supposed to toss aside my walking stick and break out into a very energetic and hilarious dance at the end. Somehow or another the technical people played the wrong part of the finale song, and all of us who were dancing had to 'improvise'. Needless to say, it was exceedingly messy, and the kids couldn't do their banner dance and I couldn't do my old lady dance. But at least we managed to cover up somewhat when everyone moved aside and left the poor guy who plays a court jester in the middle of the stage. He just pretended to look so blur that it turned out to be so funny! Apparently someone said that that was the best part of the show...so it wasn't a total disaster. :) Anyhow, we have another run tomorrow, so *hopefully* the same screw-up doesn't happen again. But other than that, from what I could tell backstage, everything else went really well. The timing was pretty good, the prop changes for the different scenes were done pretty fast, and one of the kids who was saying her lines so softly during practices was much louder...basically it was MUCH better than our practices. Thank God!
So anyway, tomorrow is going to be another busy day, and I still need to wake up early to do some super last minute Christmas shopping. Not exactly a fun task for me since I don't really enjoy shopping and I enjoy thinking of what to buy for people even less. I hate getting impersonal presents that I don't know whether people will like or not...it makes my life a whole lot easier if I have a pretty good idea what the person wants or likes, coz' then I don't have to wrack my brains figuring out what to get them that won't end up gathering dust in some corner of their house...or even worse, re-wrapped and thrown into the next church Christmas gift exchange. Buying presents for church people is especially difficult since there are just so many people to buy for, and in addition to the problem of not knowing what they want or like, I also have a problem of insufficient finances to buy reasonably good presents. So whenever I had the time in previous years, I'd try to do something a bit more personal like a handmade bookmark for everyone... or at least give some cute little bag of candies. But this year, I haven't had the time to do that, so I had to settle for the dreaded 'less personal and probably useless' little trinkets. And I still haven't gotten something for all my friends. Bleah... maybe I'll just go for the good ol' candy canes, if I can find some tomorrow! Or I could just go all scrooge-like and not buy presents for those I haven't bought for. Wahahaha.
In addition to the headache of present-buying during Christmas is also that annoying feeling that I'm going to spend another Christmas and New Year without a 'special someone' to share it with. Well, yes, I have family and friends to spend the holidays with... and usually I get along pretty fine without a guy in my life (except when I have a crush on a guy, which is equally as annoying, and is unfortunately happening as well!!!)... but it's always around this time of year when I start thinking how nice it would be to have a boyfriend to go hang out with during the holidays, or to give a smoochie to when the new year countdown ends. And yes, the fact that I am so totally into a guy right now TOTALLY is not helping. But anyhow, the annoying pangs will go away once the new years starts and I'm all busy at work again. Plus the only time I've ever had a guy to celebrate Christmas and new year with me was last year... and one of the most unforgettable memories of that time was seeing him throw up nonstop in the toilet bowl because he drank beer, wine and God knows what other kinds of alcohol, which apparently did not mix well in his stomach. Not exactly one of the highlights of my life... and sort of helped to kill my notions of a romantic Christmas and New Year celebrations with that 'special someone'. Hahaha, ok ok, so I'm being a bit unfair coz' I did enjoy spending the holidays hanging out with him in Singapore... but that's all over now. I'm single again, liking another guy, hoping against hope that by some miracle of God I would get the best Christmas present in the form of this guy actually telling me that he likes me too, but knowing that that is probably never going to happen and I shall just enjoy my celebrations as I usually do... with family and friends. Which I am still thankful for, considering there are probably tons of people out there who might be away from their family and friends, or have no one to celebrate with at all... which is why as ironic as it is, Christmas can be a lonely time for some people.
I'm thinking this year, I'll indulge in my developing love for artsy fartsy photography and go walk around in some nicely decorated shopping complexes, taking pictures of the decorations. But how nice if I could do that with that 'special someone'....Hahaha...*Carol slaps herself on the head*.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Helping out for good causes is quite depressing...
Last month, Cyclone Sidr hit Bangladesh and killed thousands of people (one article reports the death toll is above 15,000) and of course, leaving tens of thousands of other people injured, left with nothing and/or grieving over lost loved ones.
Over here in Malaysia, I had no idea about any of this as I barely have time to skim over the news...until some folks over at the Accenture head office decided to organize a collection of funds from Accenture staff for MERCY, the humanitarian aid organization that's helping the people of Bangladesh. And so they elected a one or two people from each Accenture project to help collect funds from their project mates. As yes, as you might've guessed if you don't already know, I was the 'lucky' representative to be elected by them for my project two weeks ago.
When I got the email asking to help collect funds, my initial reaction went along the lines of "Argh!!! Not again!!!". This wasn't the first time I was 'volunteered' by the company or project to do stuff. First I was 'volunteered' to remind my project mates to register for some company forum...which fortunately I didn't have to do anything anyway as it was a compulsory thing for everyone and so they all registered without me having to bug them to do so. Second, I was 'volunteered' to help out with my company's bowling trip in September. And now, for the third time, they seem to think since I'm a newbie, I'm doing nothing but shaking leg everyday and hence I can help out with all these other side projects. Which actually isn't that far from the truth...I actually am quite free, which is rather strange for this company, I think... but anyway, I still wasn't too happy with the idea of having to go around asking for money from my project mates, like one of those annoying people who go around coffee shops asking to buy useless stuff, or donate to some blind men's association, or just give them money coz' they're too old/handicapped/poor. But since I honestly wasn't busy enough to use that as an excuse to not help out, I was 'stuck' with having to do the gold-digger dirty work.
Well, as it turns out, I decided since I had to do this anyway, I might as well try to get as much as I can from as many people as I can. Not just my project mates, but also my church folks. So I went all gung ho, emailing and urging my project mates as well as everybody in my church whose email address I had, asking for donations. I even asked my pastor if we could a collection in church specifically for this...but unfortunately for some reason this couldn't be done, and the next best thing was to ask the cell leaders to collect from their cells on friday and then pass it to me.
So tomorrow is the day when I have to pass my collection back to my head office, and how much have I gotten altogether? So far, I estimate a total of around RM250, from project mates and church people. Which, to me, is really quite disappointing. I guess I had the expectation that since Accenture people are paid quite well, as church mates do regular donations to the church too, I would get rather generous donations. Surprisingly, the highest amount I got from any of my project mates is a rather measly RM20...from one of the managers too, who probably earns more than RM20,000 a month or some ridiculous amount like that. And from my church, only 3 people donated, and two was because I asked them personally. So I'm guessing everyone else either conveniently 'forgot' to donate or just couldn't be bothered...which I can't help but find a bit sad and disappointing. But then again, my own initial reaction to having to help collect donations wasn't exactly the best either.
Which really got me thinking today about the question I used to think about a lot... what is the world coming to? I mean, here we are, so engrossed in our own lives, going to work each and every day, trying to earn as money as we can to buy more stuff and lead more comfortable lives...and for most of us, our lives are already comfy enough...but when it comes to giving something to help others who really, really, REALLY need help... most of us really couldn't give a damn. Ok, maybe not everyone doesn't give a damn...I'm sure some people actually do give a damn and want to help... but maybe we don't trust the system. Maybe people think there's no point in donating coz' we don't know whether the money will actually go into aiding the people who need it, or go into the pocket of one of the aid organization's topshots. Which is actually a valid concern, as it really does happen quite often...The miserable RM250 I got is probably not going to end up going to the right place anyway. But then again, if everyone thinks like that and no one donates...then how can we help the people who need the aid? Shall we donate other necessities like food and medicines instead of money? That's noble as well, but then considering the high cost of having to transport such goods all the way there, the transportation costs could be used instead to buy more supplies for the people. So people don't donate coz' either they're too 'kiasu' or afraid of funds being mismanaged, and donating other supplies is too expensive in terms of transportation, so what's the next best way to help? Volunteer to go there and try to help out the victims personally? Yeah right, how many people are willing to stop everything in their lives here to go some strange foreign country where there are little or no luxuries to help some poor folks. So in the end, little is donated, few people care enough to help, and the poor Bangladeshies are left to fend for themselves.
A depressing thought, I know...but that's not half as bad as the thought that the Bangladeshies are not the only people in the world who need help. In Malaysia, there are people who are poor, hungry, homeless, handicapped, abandoned, and so on and so forth. And they would need help from the more fortunate ones too. But again, most of us lucky ones are just too caught up in our own little worlds worrying about our own relatively small issues to bother to help others. And I'm not exactly proud to say I'm one of them... and as much as I would like to help somehow, the thing is...it's just so much easier to continue on with my life and worry about my own little issues then be go all out to help the people who need it. It's much easier to work and try and gain more luxuries than think about the people who don't even have the basic necessities.
So anyway, now that I've probably made anyone reading this have a totally sucky guilt trip, I have to apologize for that coz' I'm not intending to make anyone feel guilty...but rather I'm just reflecting on the fact that this is how people behave. When I was young, I used to feel sad about the very same thing I'm talking about right now, and I used to want to go all out and try and save the world...but over time, when I realized there's just too many people who need saving and one little person like myself really can't do much, I lost the gung-ho-ness. Also didn't help that my parents conditioned me to just take care of ourselves and my own family as nobody else out there is going to care about us. And so when it comes to giving to other people, even just a little RM10 note, we just couldn't be bothered. I guess it's funny how when we're young, we're so idealistic and wish we could do something to help make the world a better place, but we're limited by our lack of experience (and usually, lack of money too). But once we're old enough to actually have the ability to make some difference, most people are too jaded or overwhelmed with the amount of things that could be made better, that we just can't be bothered anymore.
So anyway, I think I've had enough of ranting about how sad the world is and I shall go back to worrying about my own little problems like whether or not I should buy a Sony Ericsson W660i or Motoslvr Red, or whether that guy I like really has a thing for me. Cheerio.
Over here in Malaysia, I had no idea about any of this as I barely have time to skim over the news...until some folks over at the Accenture head office decided to organize a collection of funds from Accenture staff for MERCY, the humanitarian aid organization that's helping the people of Bangladesh. And so they elected a one or two people from each Accenture project to help collect funds from their project mates. As yes, as you might've guessed if you don't already know, I was the 'lucky' representative to be elected by them for my project two weeks ago.
When I got the email asking to help collect funds, my initial reaction went along the lines of "Argh!!! Not again!!!". This wasn't the first time I was 'volunteered' by the company or project to do stuff. First I was 'volunteered' to remind my project mates to register for some company forum...which fortunately I didn't have to do anything anyway as it was a compulsory thing for everyone and so they all registered without me having to bug them to do so. Second, I was 'volunteered' to help out with my company's bowling trip in September. And now, for the third time, they seem to think since I'm a newbie, I'm doing nothing but shaking leg everyday and hence I can help out with all these other side projects. Which actually isn't that far from the truth...I actually am quite free, which is rather strange for this company, I think... but anyway, I still wasn't too happy with the idea of having to go around asking for money from my project mates, like one of those annoying people who go around coffee shops asking to buy useless stuff, or donate to some blind men's association, or just give them money coz' they're too old/handicapped/poor. But since I honestly wasn't busy enough to use that as an excuse to not help out, I was 'stuck' with having to do the gold-digger dirty work.
Well, as it turns out, I decided since I had to do this anyway, I might as well try to get as much as I can from as many people as I can. Not just my project mates, but also my church folks. So I went all gung ho, emailing and urging my project mates as well as everybody in my church whose email address I had, asking for donations. I even asked my pastor if we could a collection in church specifically for this...but unfortunately for some reason this couldn't be done, and the next best thing was to ask the cell leaders to collect from their cells on friday and then pass it to me.
So tomorrow is the day when I have to pass my collection back to my head office, and how much have I gotten altogether? So far, I estimate a total of around RM250, from project mates and church people. Which, to me, is really quite disappointing. I guess I had the expectation that since Accenture people are paid quite well, as church mates do regular donations to the church too, I would get rather generous donations. Surprisingly, the highest amount I got from any of my project mates is a rather measly RM20...from one of the managers too, who probably earns more than RM20,000 a month or some ridiculous amount like that. And from my church, only 3 people donated, and two was because I asked them personally. So I'm guessing everyone else either conveniently 'forgot' to donate or just couldn't be bothered...which I can't help but find a bit sad and disappointing. But then again, my own initial reaction to having to help collect donations wasn't exactly the best either.
Which really got me thinking today about the question I used to think about a lot... what is the world coming to? I mean, here we are, so engrossed in our own lives, going to work each and every day, trying to earn as money as we can to buy more stuff and lead more comfortable lives...and for most of us, our lives are already comfy enough...but when it comes to giving something to help others who really, really, REALLY need help... most of us really couldn't give a damn. Ok, maybe not everyone doesn't give a damn...I'm sure some people actually do give a damn and want to help... but maybe we don't trust the system. Maybe people think there's no point in donating coz' we don't know whether the money will actually go into aiding the people who need it, or go into the pocket of one of the aid organization's topshots. Which is actually a valid concern, as it really does happen quite often...The miserable RM250 I got is probably not going to end up going to the right place anyway. But then again, if everyone thinks like that and no one donates...then how can we help the people who need the aid? Shall we donate other necessities like food and medicines instead of money? That's noble as well, but then considering the high cost of having to transport such goods all the way there, the transportation costs could be used instead to buy more supplies for the people. So people don't donate coz' either they're too 'kiasu' or afraid of funds being mismanaged, and donating other supplies is too expensive in terms of transportation, so what's the next best way to help? Volunteer to go there and try to help out the victims personally? Yeah right, how many people are willing to stop everything in their lives here to go some strange foreign country where there are little or no luxuries to help some poor folks. So in the end, little is donated, few people care enough to help, and the poor Bangladeshies are left to fend for themselves.
A depressing thought, I know...but that's not half as bad as the thought that the Bangladeshies are not the only people in the world who need help. In Malaysia, there are people who are poor, hungry, homeless, handicapped, abandoned, and so on and so forth. And they would need help from the more fortunate ones too. But again, most of us lucky ones are just too caught up in our own little worlds worrying about our own relatively small issues to bother to help others. And I'm not exactly proud to say I'm one of them... and as much as I would like to help somehow, the thing is...it's just so much easier to continue on with my life and worry about my own little issues then be go all out to help the people who need it. It's much easier to work and try and gain more luxuries than think about the people who don't even have the basic necessities.
So anyway, now that I've probably made anyone reading this have a totally sucky guilt trip, I have to apologize for that coz' I'm not intending to make anyone feel guilty...but rather I'm just reflecting on the fact that this is how people behave. When I was young, I used to feel sad about the very same thing I'm talking about right now, and I used to want to go all out and try and save the world...but over time, when I realized there's just too many people who need saving and one little person like myself really can't do much, I lost the gung-ho-ness. Also didn't help that my parents conditioned me to just take care of ourselves and my own family as nobody else out there is going to care about us. And so when it comes to giving to other people, even just a little RM10 note, we just couldn't be bothered. I guess it's funny how when we're young, we're so idealistic and wish we could do something to help make the world a better place, but we're limited by our lack of experience (and usually, lack of money too). But once we're old enough to actually have the ability to make some difference, most people are too jaded or overwhelmed with the amount of things that could be made better, that we just can't be bothered anymore.
So anyway, I think I've had enough of ranting about how sad the world is and I shall go back to worrying about my own little problems like whether or not I should buy a Sony Ericsson W660i or Motoslvr Red, or whether that guy I like really has a thing for me. Cheerio.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Discovery Days, Christmas events and strange sms-es
Yay, I did get my haircut several weeks ago, and now that my hair has grown out a bit, it does look pretty good....so now I think I finally have a regular hairstylist whom I can trust my crowning glory with, thanks to Yee Ling for recommending him to me!
Well, I haven't blogged for a while, mainly coz' I haven't had much to blog about. I'm still working at the same TM project at Accenture...still clicking buttons everyday doing testing of an application. Sometimes I actually am quite free, which is very strange considering my company's reputation for having overworked staff. Everyone says my time of busy-ness will come...but so far it hasn't...and in a way I enjoy it, but I also feel kid of blah coz' I don't feel very challenged in my work right now. Well, perhaps once this project is done and I move on somewhere else...I'll be enjoying my work a bit more.
Christmas is also coming up, which of course means that I and almost everyone else at church is BUSYYYY. I'm in choir, and I get to lead the sopranos to do their parts...which also isn't very challenging coz' we just sing the normal melody and all of them are pretty good enough already. So usually all I do is run through all the songs with them, then we get to hang out til' we have to practice together with the other groups (altos, bass and tenors). One of these Christmases I really should try to be an alto, so I get to learn whole new parts that are more challenging...but then again, I am (in a none braggy sense) one of the stronger sopranos, so I think that if I switched, the sopranos might not be loud enough... Oh well, hopefully next year there will be so many sopranos that if I switched, it wouldn't matter. Hehe!
Anyway, doing carolling has also left me target to the usual but lame jokes about my name. Examples include:
"Carol is carolling!"
"Carolling Carol!"
"If you married a guy whose surname was Ling, you'd be Carol Ling!"
I shall make sure I steer clear of any guy I meet whose surname is Ling....
I was also recently involved in my church's annual event for kids, Discovery Days, where I was in charge of the 'Fun Singing', and also helped out for games and art and craft, while also helping to take care of the kids at other times. With over 100 kids there, running around like little energizer bunnies on caffeine every chance they got, I was pretty zonked out by lunch time. Somehow or another I did manage to make it through the entire day...woo hoo! But then the next day there another day of outing with the kids. I actually didn't think I would be going coz' on that Saturday morning, I had to work at the weeeeee hours of the morning around 1.30am, coz' we had to shut down TM's system for upgrading at the hour when no one would be using it. So I had to go in to test the newly upgraded system and see if there were any issues. And I didn't think I would have the energy to go for the trip the next day, especially since after DD on Friday, when I got home and planned to sleep from 7pm to 12am before going to work, I slept until 9pm and then woke up coz' of some sms-es (which is another story in itself...). After that, I tried to go back to sleep but wasn't completely in dreamland. So I went to work that night all sick-ish and sniffly due to lack of sleep, so I thought I definitely would not be able to go for the trip next day.
When I was done testing, I got home at around 6am and jumped into bed again at 6.30am. Before sleeping though, I told God that I really wanted to go for the trip and asked Him that if He wanted me to go too, then wake me up in time for me to get to church and board a bus before they leave, and make sure I'm rested enough to last the trip. But if He thought I'd better rest, then just let me continue sleeping. So I went to sleep at 6.30am without setting my alarm.... and at 7.30am (one hour later!) I woke up on my own. And I wasn't feeling sick or sleepy, so I jumped out of bed, flew to church and got there in time to meet everyone boarding the buses. So I got to go on the outing, which was pretty fun...though one of the kids I was taking care of had a rather annoying habit of going missing. And I wasn't tired or sick the whole day! Woohoo! Goes to show that the Holy Spirit is better than any coffee...:D
All in all, DD was great...although one thing we did this year which I'd very happily not do again next year is giving out little namecards to the kids. Supposedly this is for the kids to call us in case they need some aunty, uncle, 'tai ko' or 'jie jie' to talk to, for whatever reason. But then the thing we didn't seem to foresee is that our handphone numbers might end up in the 'wrong hands'... such as the needy 18 year old brothers of the kids.
See, that Friday after Discovery Days when I was sleeping early to try and get enough rest for my graveyard shift, I got two sms-es around 9pm that woke me up. Both were from the same number which I didn't know... the first one said "Hi Carol, how are you?" No name, no introduction, nada. I was still in snoozyland when that firsts sms came, and the second sms came about 5 minutes later. "Why you never reply? Please reply?" When I woke up, read the sms-es and figured out that it was probably from a DD kid and not a murderous stalker, I replied "Sorry, what's your name?". Then the kid sms-ed back in BM, saying he was one of the Stepping Stones kids' brother (Stepping Stones is a children's home from which a bunch of Indian kids came for our DD event), and he said he wanted to be my friend, but asked why did I talk like that. Hmm? Apparently in this kid's world, it's incredibly rude to ask for his name when he doesn't introduce himself. The way this kid was going, I was starting to think that the kid probably had potential to be a murderous stalker. But considering these kids are probably orphans who were emotionally scarred since childhood or some sob story like that, I thought telling him to bugger off, as tempting as it was, probably wasn't the best response to such strange behaviour, so I continued replying to him in a civilized manner. He seemed to be very happy that I 'agreed' to be his friend. That night he sent me one sms asking me to go out because 'the moon is saying goodnight to you!'. And the next morning, I got a long sms in Tamil which ended in 'Good morning', which were the only two words I understood.
To cut a long story short, I asked him how old he was, and when he told me he was 18 years old and NOT one of the kids, I told him flat out that my number is for the kids to call me in case they need someone to talk to, not for anyone else. So I asked him not to sms me anymore...and he replied by saying something about opening his heart to me and being glad to have me as a friend. Good grief. I replied by saying that he shouldn't open his heart to a person he never even met, and that I can't be his friend coz' I don't know him at all. And I said I wouldn't reply to him anymore. And ever since then, I haven't gotten any more sms-es from crazy potential stalker kid. Whew!
Well, I dunno if what I did is considered 'cruel'...but in my experience, an 18 year old boy sms-ing a girl he's never met before usually is interested in more than just being 'friends'. And this guy was obviously incredibly desperate for some sort of affection, to declare me a great friend when all he knows about me is what his brother told him about me from DD. It's quite freaky. And apparently I wasn't the only one who got strange sms-es or calls after DD...another friend got sms-es from a 15 year old kid! Nooooo way I'm going to give away my handphone number to kids next year...ESPECIALLY if they are some orphanage kids who are more likely to have attention-craving older siblings with too much phone credit to spare.
So anyway, that's about the biggest drama I've had in my life recently. I'm also in my church's Christmas production, which is a musical directed mainly for the kids. I haven't done acting for quite a while, so I signed up for acting and hoped to get a reasonably challenging role and not just be some small koochy extra with no lines. Well, I kind of got my wish...I'm playing Harriet Redrose, an 'eccentric' old lady who apparently lives at home alone with cats! :p Well, it wasn't exactly the kind of role I envisioned for myself (perhaps hot rocker chick? Hahaha... kidding)... but after a few practices, I'm actually quite enjoying the part, since I can get away with doing an impression of Diedric the Disgruntled Elf. If you don't know who that is, listen to Hitz.fm during holiday seasons...it's a elf who decides he's sick of working for Santa during Christmas only and decides to do his 'holiday rounds' during other local festivities such as Hari Raya and Deepavali. And being eccentric is always fun...so yeah, I think I make a pretty good old lady. :P But we only have 3 more weeks left before the date of the play, and we sort of just started practices, which doesn't leave us much time left. Gotta reeeaally hope and pray that we can get everything together in the short time that we have....
Ok, that's enough blabbering for now. Time for bed!
Well, I haven't blogged for a while, mainly coz' I haven't had much to blog about. I'm still working at the same TM project at Accenture...still clicking buttons everyday doing testing of an application. Sometimes I actually am quite free, which is very strange considering my company's reputation for having overworked staff. Everyone says my time of busy-ness will come...but so far it hasn't...and in a way I enjoy it, but I also feel kid of blah coz' I don't feel very challenged in my work right now. Well, perhaps once this project is done and I move on somewhere else...I'll be enjoying my work a bit more.
Christmas is also coming up, which of course means that I and almost everyone else at church is BUSYYYY. I'm in choir, and I get to lead the sopranos to do their parts...which also isn't very challenging coz' we just sing the normal melody and all of them are pretty good enough already. So usually all I do is run through all the songs with them, then we get to hang out til' we have to practice together with the other groups (altos, bass and tenors). One of these Christmases I really should try to be an alto, so I get to learn whole new parts that are more challenging...but then again, I am (in a none braggy sense) one of the stronger sopranos, so I think that if I switched, the sopranos might not be loud enough... Oh well, hopefully next year there will be so many sopranos that if I switched, it wouldn't matter. Hehe!
Anyway, doing carolling has also left me target to the usual but lame jokes about my name. Examples include:
"Carol is carolling!"
"Carolling Carol!"
"If you married a guy whose surname was Ling, you'd be Carol Ling!"
I shall make sure I steer clear of any guy I meet whose surname is Ling....
I was also recently involved in my church's annual event for kids, Discovery Days, where I was in charge of the 'Fun Singing', and also helped out for games and art and craft, while also helping to take care of the kids at other times. With over 100 kids there, running around like little energizer bunnies on caffeine every chance they got, I was pretty zonked out by lunch time. Somehow or another I did manage to make it through the entire day...woo hoo! But then the next day there another day of outing with the kids. I actually didn't think I would be going coz' on that Saturday morning, I had to work at the weeeeee hours of the morning around 1.30am, coz' we had to shut down TM's system for upgrading at the hour when no one would be using it. So I had to go in to test the newly upgraded system and see if there were any issues. And I didn't think I would have the energy to go for the trip the next day, especially since after DD on Friday, when I got home and planned to sleep from 7pm to 12am before going to work, I slept until 9pm and then woke up coz' of some sms-es (which is another story in itself...). After that, I tried to go back to sleep but wasn't completely in dreamland. So I went to work that night all sick-ish and sniffly due to lack of sleep, so I thought I definitely would not be able to go for the trip next day.
When I was done testing, I got home at around 6am and jumped into bed again at 6.30am. Before sleeping though, I told God that I really wanted to go for the trip and asked Him that if He wanted me to go too, then wake me up in time for me to get to church and board a bus before they leave, and make sure I'm rested enough to last the trip. But if He thought I'd better rest, then just let me continue sleeping. So I went to sleep at 6.30am without setting my alarm.... and at 7.30am (one hour later!) I woke up on my own. And I wasn't feeling sick or sleepy, so I jumped out of bed, flew to church and got there in time to meet everyone boarding the buses. So I got to go on the outing, which was pretty fun...though one of the kids I was taking care of had a rather annoying habit of going missing. And I wasn't tired or sick the whole day! Woohoo! Goes to show that the Holy Spirit is better than any coffee...:D
All in all, DD was great...although one thing we did this year which I'd very happily not do again next year is giving out little namecards to the kids. Supposedly this is for the kids to call us in case they need some aunty, uncle, 'tai ko' or 'jie jie' to talk to, for whatever reason. But then the thing we didn't seem to foresee is that our handphone numbers might end up in the 'wrong hands'... such as the needy 18 year old brothers of the kids.
See, that Friday after Discovery Days when I was sleeping early to try and get enough rest for my graveyard shift, I got two sms-es around 9pm that woke me up. Both were from the same number which I didn't know... the first one said "Hi Carol, how are you?" No name, no introduction, nada. I was still in snoozyland when that firsts sms came, and the second sms came about 5 minutes later. "Why you never reply? Please reply?" When I woke up, read the sms-es and figured out that it was probably from a DD kid and not a murderous stalker, I replied "Sorry, what's your name?". Then the kid sms-ed back in BM, saying he was one of the Stepping Stones kids' brother (Stepping Stones is a children's home from which a bunch of Indian kids came for our DD event), and he said he wanted to be my friend, but asked why did I talk like that. Hmm? Apparently in this kid's world, it's incredibly rude to ask for his name when he doesn't introduce himself. The way this kid was going, I was starting to think that the kid probably had potential to be a murderous stalker. But considering these kids are probably orphans who were emotionally scarred since childhood or some sob story like that, I thought telling him to bugger off, as tempting as it was, probably wasn't the best response to such strange behaviour, so I continued replying to him in a civilized manner. He seemed to be very happy that I 'agreed' to be his friend. That night he sent me one sms asking me to go out because 'the moon is saying goodnight to you!'. And the next morning, I got a long sms in Tamil which ended in 'Good morning', which were the only two words I understood.
To cut a long story short, I asked him how old he was, and when he told me he was 18 years old and NOT one of the kids, I told him flat out that my number is for the kids to call me in case they need someone to talk to, not for anyone else. So I asked him not to sms me anymore...and he replied by saying something about opening his heart to me and being glad to have me as a friend. Good grief. I replied by saying that he shouldn't open his heart to a person he never even met, and that I can't be his friend coz' I don't know him at all. And I said I wouldn't reply to him anymore. And ever since then, I haven't gotten any more sms-es from crazy potential stalker kid. Whew!
Well, I dunno if what I did is considered 'cruel'...but in my experience, an 18 year old boy sms-ing a girl he's never met before usually is interested in more than just being 'friends'. And this guy was obviously incredibly desperate for some sort of affection, to declare me a great friend when all he knows about me is what his brother told him about me from DD. It's quite freaky. And apparently I wasn't the only one who got strange sms-es or calls after DD...another friend got sms-es from a 15 year old kid! Nooooo way I'm going to give away my handphone number to kids next year...ESPECIALLY if they are some orphanage kids who are more likely to have attention-craving older siblings with too much phone credit to spare.
So anyway, that's about the biggest drama I've had in my life recently. I'm also in my church's Christmas production, which is a musical directed mainly for the kids. I haven't done acting for quite a while, so I signed up for acting and hoped to get a reasonably challenging role and not just be some small koochy extra with no lines. Well, I kind of got my wish...I'm playing Harriet Redrose, an 'eccentric' old lady who apparently lives at home alone with cats! :p Well, it wasn't exactly the kind of role I envisioned for myself (perhaps hot rocker chick? Hahaha... kidding)... but after a few practices, I'm actually quite enjoying the part, since I can get away with doing an impression of Diedric the Disgruntled Elf. If you don't know who that is, listen to Hitz.fm during holiday seasons...it's a elf who decides he's sick of working for Santa during Christmas only and decides to do his 'holiday rounds' during other local festivities such as Hari Raya and Deepavali. And being eccentric is always fun...so yeah, I think I make a pretty good old lady. :P But we only have 3 more weeks left before the date of the play, and we sort of just started practices, which doesn't leave us much time left. Gotta reeeaally hope and pray that we can get everything together in the short time that we have....
Ok, that's enough blabbering for now. Time for bed!
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